Monday, November 21, 2016

Day 21: A Simple A-Z For A Happy Marriage

If marriage is forever! (Photo credit)
As I looked through some of the old posts, I realised that writing about marriage on my anniversary has unconsciously become a sort of tradition. Last year, I busted 5 myths about marriage and the year before that I wrote 2 posts since I had so much to say I guess. One is pondering over whether marriage is even worth it and the next one sharing the 7 lessons I learnt from being married for 7 years. So, for my 9th anniversary today, I think I am qualified to give out a quick A-Z guide to a happy marriage. Here:

Argue. Yes! A healthy discussion, venting out feelings and ironing out differences can be cathartic in a marriage.

Broken? Only then fix it. I don't understand online lists of how to make your relationship more exciting! If it's exciting enough, let it be! Don't go overboard.

Cook together. Helps bond and let's the spouses understand that household chores aren't a cake walk

Don't be best friends. I have said this earlier too. Find someone else to bitch about your respective mothers. Trust me! You don't want to ignore this one!

Express needs. You may feel down or want to go crazy. It's is hard to mind read unless you vocalise what's on your mind.

Flowers, sometimes. Who said flowers are meant only for dating! And who said only he has to get flowers for her? Although her face is going to light up brighter at the sight of flowers

Gifts aren't necessary. If you are in this for the long haul, you can't expect to make it a give and take for every little occasion.

Hug. Never goes out of fashion. And there's no per day limit!

I love you: Say it often enough. It never goes out of fashion

Joint decisions are great but it is okay to take up running a few things on your own and let your spouse off the hook about it

Keep at it: Marriage is a work in progress

Laugh together. Even if you read memes off the internet due to lack of one's own sense of humour

Make other friends. Marriage doesn't mean you can't be a person you were and socialise on your own.

"Nothing" means something. When a woman answers "nothing" to "what's wrong?", everything is! Do not take this lightly. I repeat, do not take this lightly

Open the car door. Doesn't matter how many years into your relationship, this will always make her smile!

Pardon. You can't hold on to grudges. Not even big ones

Question! Actually, don't! The moment you start wondering if you are happy together and if your relationship couldn't be as rocking as Jack and Susy's, you are going downhill. No one's perfect. And everyone's different. Just accept it

Respect each other's hobbies. If he wants to chase cars online all saturday evening, he should be allowed to. And if you want to go shopping every weekend, that should be okay too.

Say nice things: Underrated but important. Helps you notice the little things your spouse does for you

Together time: Even sitting together and doing your own thing counts. It doesn't have to be putting up with his/her idea of a good time

Unclutter. Whether it's the stuff you've accumulated over the years or thoughts that are saved in your mind, decide about each item and put it away.

Valentine's Day is over hyped. Trust me! Don't fall for it.

Welcome each other's quirks. People change over decades of their lives. Be accepting of who they gradually become through the years of marriage.

Xchange chores: That way you understand what each one goes through instead of assuming the other one has it easier

'You' time is as important as 'we' time. It's okay to watch a movie or go to the park by yourself.

Zing up. Well! Something with Z is hard to come by. So let's say that keeping things shiny for decades is hard. Do whatever that keeps the zing in the marriage

This is just a random list of things. There is tons of serious advice online on happy marriage if you wish to look up. Which one in this list is your favourite? Would you add more?

This post is a part of #NaBloPoMo which stands for National Blog Posting Month hosted by BlogHer.

1 comment:

  1. Very well written Suman! Another brilliant post from you... :) There are a lot in this list that are my favorites... But if I have to pick a few things, they will be - 1. Together time; 2. Hug; 3. Pardon; 4. Make other friends... :)