#BlueWhaleChallenge: An Unworthy Cause for Death

I have spent one goosebumpy hour online reading about the Blue Whale challenge! We are inundated with so much info on an everyday basis that it is hard to keep up. We are vaguely aware of a lot of things around us. But then it's hard to ignore when something comes closer home. Someone I know has had a death in the family in a very blue whale style though investigations are still on. But something like this set me and the spouse thinking and we really sat up to read about it. And the details are gory, depressing and scary, to say the least. Writing this post is as much a catharsis for me as it is to try and put together information about this accursed game that's driving teenagers to end their lives - for no worthy cause.

What is the Blue Whale Challenge? 

The Blue Whale Challenge - simplified here - is a 50 day challenge where the curators of the game assign one task each day - all of them self destructive in incremental degrees. The last task is to end one's life. Sick, isn't it? Now, who's the brain behind this amazing shit? Phillipp Budeikin is the mastermind behind this game who confessed in court, when arrested for the suicide of teenage girls in Russia, that he was just "cleansing society" by getting rid of "biological waste" Although there are more admins apart from him who run this game for teenagers.

It is established that the most vulnerable stick around beyond the first few tasks. And the admins use psychological manipulation to goad the players on since they know that those who continue are weak victims. One boy who was saved from ending his life described his experience. He vouches for the pressure one feels and is compelled to carry out the orders. If you look at the list of tasks - which makes me all knotted in my stomach - you'll see that the task for Day 30 to 49 is waking up at 4.30 am and watching scary videos that the curators send to the players. Day 50 is to jump to your death in the wee hours of morning. And I don't think it is hard after this onslaught of destructive material to get a sleep deprived, confused teenager to fling to his/her death!!

Why teenagers?

Well! There's been a 13 year old who was found dead and the Blue Whale screen was open on his dad's phone!! You be the judge! Psychologists vouch for the fact that this demographic is the most vulnerable.

“It has been observed that some teenagers have very low self-esteem, and rely significantly on peer approval. For them, the external environment becomes a source of inspiration, which is why they are willing to do anything to (project) a certain image,” said Sameer Malhotra, director, Department of Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences, Max Super Speciality Hospital, Saket, New Delhi.

There can be more reasons like rebellion, lack of focus and interest, boredom, curiosity and teenage angst to drive them towards such games which can seem thrilling.

Why is it hard to ban it? 

Like everything else on the internet, it is hard to contain even this dangerous thing. Here are a few reasons why it is hard to ban it - ban the blue whale challenge - and also a list of the tasks involved. Be alert and the lookout for anyone who might be carrying out these to catch up with the symptoms.

Why is this so twisted? 

Let's cut the chase and come straight to what can we do? If you have kids, especially in that age group, this threat is real!! And I might sound a bit stern here and I am willing to incur parental wrath for this. Before I go on to actual steps one can take, one thing that baffles me is that no one in the family or social circle notice anything amiss with these kids. The task list is life altering even for a mature adult. I can't imagine a teen-year old person going through it and be normal. Some kids were using the parents' phones to play it. (The case of the 13 yo testifies to this) What kind of parental supervision would that be after giving kids the power of technology which can turn fatal in ignorant hands?

The first thing I'd blame is the unrestrained access to internet and gadgets that kids have today. Yes, one needs to keep up with the times. But if it is at the cost of those every kids, I think it is time to think again, reassess what we want for our kids. Teenagers are confused now more than ever. There is just too much going on and the pressure to keep up is immense. And what better than to play a game on a dare that all their friends are playing too! This can be their golden chance to prove to everyone they are worth something. Self esteem issues taken care of!

What signs to look for?

The challenge lasts long enough and has enough self destructive tasks that I don't think it can go unnoticed. Here are a few signs to watch out for:

Cuts on the body
Waking up at unearthly hours
Isolation
Being cooped up in one's room
Increasing secrecy
Silence

What can we do?

When there's chaos around the best thing to do is to simplify. And good old times where members of the family sat together for meals and caught up with each other. Internet free conversations between people who should know whats happening in each others' lives.

Find constructive, offline activities for teenagers. This is a time when they can develop precious life skills like speaking, writing, painting, photography, cooking, calligraphy - there is no dearth of hobbies one can develop interest in.

The times of autocratic parenting are over. Kids respond better to friends than controlling parents. Keep track of what your kids are upto. Look for the signs, just in case. Keep an eye on their online activities. If they get the validation and confidence they need from parents, they wont look for it elsewhere.

Teachers at school have an equal responsibility in guiding the young. Parents and teachers should actively read up on what affects youth so that they can help curb such things. Peer pressure begins in school and is the best place to get addressed.

The self esteem of kids needs to be collectively raised. Giving up their life for an unworthy cause is just insane. They might as well fight the enemy at the border and die a martyr. Find the right means to channel their boredom or sense of worthlessness. There are countless worthy causes one can devote time to - 50 worthwhile tasks coming up in the next post.

Cybermum, who creates awareness among parents about cyber threats to teens and suggest ways to keep them safe online, has the following tips

This should be the top item in the parental To-Do list. Educate a child before handing him/her an internet-enabled device. And monitor. https://t.co/hmSh4adGnP

— Cybermum India (@Cybermum_India) September 21, 2017

1) Practice both real & remote monitoring (parental control app)
2)No phones in bedroom
3)Digital detox hours
4)Limited internet data/timing https://t.co/T1jjsXGitK

— Cybermum India (@Cybermum_India) September 21, 2017

Every time I blame technology for why kids grow up so soon in today's times, I have parents defending the role that online access plays in making kids smarter. If you ask me, I'd prefer a dumb kid who's alive than a smart, tech savvy kid who is....

For now, my heart goes out to the parents of this teenager who died yesterday. They must have brought the little one in their arms and 17 years later carried him out on their shoulders. A burden that will never lighten - not in this life time! We live in hard times and pay dearly for it. But I am confident that this can be prevented. We all need to be aware and take steps that are in our control. Read up, spread awareness, be alert.

Why this is the best time to be alive!

This is the best time to be alive! Photo Credit

This is the best time to be alive!

The prevalent zeitgeist is so full of positive affirmation. The vibe is favourable and promising to engage and indulge in whatever you feel like. The profession you want to be in. Or the person you don’t want to be. No, I am not brimming with misplaced exuberance. I know there are still rapes, murders and other atrocities. We do not live in a perfect world. But the world seems to have changed for the better in a lot of ways and in unprecedented leaps and bounds in the last 5 years or so. And, to me, most of it is change for the better. Seriously, my generation seems pretty anachronistic in today’s times if we don’t catch up with the times. 

The change is evident everywhere. Let’s look at the most common thing to affect all our lives - gadgets. The sheer number and variety for every possible need is mind boggling! The shapes, sizes and sleekness is a testimony to how far we have moved. When I think of my first cellphone, I am reminded of a thick, black brick! I am sure kids in their 20s today would refuse to even touch it. We no longer have to carry heavy laptops around. PC is a relic of the past. Ipads, kindles and their ilk have made browsing, reading easier. There are devices just to indulge in the pleasure of gaming. There are better headphones and bigger televisions. 

And to complement it all, there’s internet in the air, literally! Connectivity is the buzzword! And the kind of connectivity we have today blows my mind away. When I sent my first SMS to my friend more than a decade ago, it seemed no short of a miracle that she could read it instantly. And why not! We were, so far, used to writing reams of pages and waiting for days for the letter to arrive. (And STD calls cost an arm and a leg)

Even though, 24/7 internet is a more recent thing in my life, I sometimes wonder how I lived without it for so long. Google is my friend, guide, mentor, decision maker and what not! And when people ask what something is, I judge them! You shouldn’t ask for objective information when you have Google! And as I discover the new treats of connectivity, my belief about living in the best time ever gets stronger. I have ordered food online! I call for a cab online. And Google Maps ensures I am never lost in any part of the country! I have booked office space for just 3 hours online. I have bought onions and potatoes online! 

Thanks to connectivity, no one is too far away. You can see your grand kids grow through your computer screen. You can download apps for travel, to share pictures - even add filters to make you look more beautiful - and videos instantly, music, shopping, weather and the list is endless. 

But what I find the most fascinating about our times now - and which has had the most impact on the fabric of our society today - is the liberty to be exactly who you want to be. Gender and age no bar. Pursue your dreams. Follow your heart. Love cooking? Be a chef. Even if you are man. Love music? Grow your hair and make independent music. Stuck at home with an infant? Start a blog and tell the world about your passion. Want to change the world? Start a revolution on social media. Can’t find a job? Be an entrepreneur. 

We live in times when people get free food and are paid to write reviews about it. Food bloggers! People make money out of telling you what colours to wear. Image consultants! You can just sit home and write full time to make money. Bloggers! No matter what you want to do, you’ll find support. And it’s easier to connect with like minded people, thanks to social media. No place is too far and no information inaccessible. 

Have I missed out on something. Go ahead and add it in your comments. Would love to hear your ideas on what makes these the best times for you!

Am I old-fashioned?

A recent conversation, a very unwelcome one at that, with someone made me realize i am old fashioned in so many ways. I realized i am stuck to some concepts which definitely are rapidly becoming old world, if not totally defunct yet! Though, the way the world has changed at a blistering pace in the last few years, the world as people of my generation knew it is vanishing. 

So, the conversation that led me to this realization was about the changing concept of a work place. To me, work is still a place you get dressed every morning and go to. In fact, the getting dressed part is where much of the charm of going to work lies. At least, for me! Having been a freelancer for the past 6 years, i still miss having to choose my clothes everyday, get decked up and head out of the house in the morning geared up for work. Freelancing gives you the freedom to choose your work but i am definitely more lazy than i was when I worked full time. So, my worldview of the world felt a lot dented at the realization that the idea of an office is a vanishing concept. A laptop and a smartphone and you could work out of a beach! 

This could be your workplace!

One of the other old ways that i realise i have stuck to is my love for pen and paper, despite all the gadgets i have. i just can’t get my head around making notes/lists on the new fangled gadgets and apps available to me. i do that sometimes with grocery lists etc so that i have it handy on my phone. But such a practice is rare. The joy of holding a pen and writing each letter in my own handwriting is too much to give up. Nothing can replace that! It's easier to add things to existing points. And the happiness of ticking a task done on your to-do list is matchless!

And the third thing that comes to my mind doesn’t surprise me or anyone else who knows me. i still believe in complete sentences and correct spellings. Though, i will confess that i have slipped and resorted to chat versions of words due to lack of character space in some media. But the satisfaction of writing out proper sentences and then editing them for correctness will never go out of fashion in my life.

Watch your language!

i am appalled at the state of English, thanks to the onslaught of online medium that encourage, rather force you to conveniently compromise on the written word to express your thought. Felicity of words and cadences of phrases have no meaning in this world. Words like selfies  with no literary depth are conjured just for convenience! And more horrifying is that an entire generation is growing up exposed to such language and God knows where we are headed to with this.

Even if these things are not the current norm, i think i will hold on to them for old times sake. Are there things you are attached to but seem out of sync with the times? Do you think there is a charm of its own to keep these things alive? And isn’t it comforting to continue with old habits in this ever-changing, ever-evolving world? Feel free to share your thoughts below. 

Manners maketh a man!

Given the changed times today, everything about the way we function has changed. Technology rules our life and i am particularly disturbed about the way it affects children born in the last decade or so. Compared to my childhood, it has become increasingly difficult to retain the attention spans of kids, thanks to a million distractions, most of them as addictive as technological gadgets.

No, this post is not about the ill-effects of technology on the younger generation. Reams must have been written on it already. Even in the context of today’s times, i strongly feel some values/habits are the bedrock of a person’s personality and can not be compromised irrespective of what times we live in. It can be challenging, very actually, to inculcate these in kids today given their exposure to a totally different world from mine. mostly full of bad influences for those young minds. Here are the timeless values that, i feel, are important to become quality human beings:

Good Manners: Respect for elders. Obedience. And generally doing things the way they should be done. i know this sounds really last century, but my general observation is that today’s kids have a mind of their own and they just have to get their way. i am all for democracy in relationships, but there is a fine line between putting forth your thoughts and putting your foot down on your elders’ views. i know we cant get good old times back but it’s about embedding respect for others as a life long trait. This is helpful not just in personal life but also in professional life later on.

Social skills: i recently visited someone’s place for dinner. The host’s daughter, a teenager,  came in shyly, said hello and that’s it. She was all awkward after that. i think it is important that children be able to conduct themselves with confidence in social situations. So whether it is being able to handle guests when parents are absent to holding a decent conversation is a must. Even in real life, i have realized, success has more to do with how confidently we are able to connect with people and get along rather than about academic excellence.

Reading: This is a very personal favourite habit where reading has taught me so much. It has helped me fill a lot of empty hours with writings that took me to vicarious romance, travel and knowledge of different worlds. For children, the advantages of reading can be endless. Apart from improving language levels, children can enjoy reading their favourite stories and build their foundation to reading more interesting books through the future years. Parents abroad make it a point to read to children before they go to sleep until kids can start reading on their own. That’s their way of inculcating love of the written word.

Hobby: Depending what the skills a person have, the children should always be encouraged to indulge in some kind of hobby in free time. i know someone who’s going to be out of college in some time and is totally lost in her free time. It’s either general browsing n the internet or just lazing around. When i suggest reading, the reaction is “Ehh! Thats boring”. The hobby could be painting, reading, music - anything that serves the dual purpose of adding to a person’s personality and positive channelizing one’s free energies.

Limited technology: Keeping in mind the times we live in, i want to add that it’s very important to limit the amount children are exposed to technology. Gadgets can be very educative if used well, but more often than not they end up being used to for addictive gaming. This is indeed a great time to show them that the pleasure of reading a real book is so much better than an ebook. This applies at least till the time children are grown up enough to use their own discretion in the use of technology.

You may or may not agree with my list. Feel free to add your own!