There is a scene where Jessica Pearson tells Rachel Zane that she sees herself in Rachel. They go an event together before which Rachel re-writes Jessica’s speech for her.
As the two women step out to the event, the difference is stark. Jessica - tall and regal. Rachel, ill at ease in her designer down, easily 2 feet shorter than Jessica, trying her best to match up to her mentor.
But no matter how much she tries, Rachel will never be Jessica! Not after another 20 years of law practice under her belt!
And here’s why!
The very first time Rachel appears in the series, she starts with a self-deprecating remark. She says something to the effect - just because I am just a paralegal you think you think I’d be impressed by your fancy degrees
Mike hardly said anything yet but the complex she suffers from - that she’s “just” a paralegal is loud and clear!
Season one has enough to support this.
She is the best paralegal around, yet she’s given up on her dream of becoming a lawyer since she tests badly. She has let a stupid test - step one towards her dreams - get the better of her. Instead of taking on a challenge head long, she’s just given up! She obviously doesn't want to be a lawyer that badly - or she'd take the test headlong and be done with it!
She can’t finish her law school application essay because she can’t think of reasons why they should take her. She constantly wonders why Harvard would consider her when the acceptance percentage is so low! She is full of doubts about her own capability revealing a mindset that's negative and self defeating.
She can’t write her dating profile because she is “just” a paralegal and that’s what she’ll ever be. There is nothing else to her identity in her own mind.
She never fights back at work - Louis chides her, scolds her and Mike at different times and she quietly takes it! Katrina walks all over her asking her to put on hold important things and make copies for her. Worse, she is accused of sleeping with the associate and all Rachel tells her is to ask her get out of the office.
Jessica Junior? I don’t think so! Jessica is someone who issues threats and not take things lying down!
She negotiates her terms of coming back with Louis after she is wrongfully terminated. A paralegal for 5 years, this future-lawyer waltzes into Jessica’s office demanding that she pay for her law school with no written record of the promise. A prospective lawyer who never thought this should be put in writing and signed by Louis.
To add insult to injury, she is taken aback when Jessica refuses!
As a lawyer, one needs to be tough, fight back, make a mark or go down swinging. Rachel has none of that. Heck! Donna is more of a badass than she is!
She is timorous, weak and a coward at the best of times. She is so affected by her father eviscerating a woman in a deposition that she thinks he's saying those things to her! And this after she herself asked to be allocated to the case.
The fact that she falls in love and wants to marry someone like Mike - who's a felon - throws her credibility our of whack at a whole different level! She's okay being with someone who broke the law, lies everyday and has everything that people work hard for years to get.
And here's the masterstroke - Rachel was busy at the mock trial of a cat custody when the firm is under attack from outsiders. Instead of being at the center of the storm where she could put her legal acumen to good use, she was fighting for the custody of Mikado for Louis!
Why Louis did not have anything better to do when the firm was in siege is a topic for a whole different post!
If Rachel had even half the gumption that Donna has - not Jessica - maybe she'd have some hope!
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