7 lessons for 20-somethings from my life experience

I don't believe in things I could tell my 20-something self. 

The world is a different place today than it was when I was in my 20s. In fact, a lot of things like freedom and assertiveness did not even apply to a woman's life then - esp in my conservative family. 

Sometimes I wonder if things would have been different if I had the jump start of the person I am today! 

But here are a few things that I wish I knew and other things I want to tell people in their 20s based on my experience. I agree that a lot of these things seem obvious now but it might be hard to apply while we are going through the confusing 20s without the advantage of the life experience that comes with my perspective. 

But then that's the advantage of learning from others who've been there and can tell you it can be done differently.

So here goes:

1. Screw the world: Women are conditioned to worry about the whole world - a little less now, maybe!  

Although studies suggest that women still find it hard to assert themselves. They will still hold back in meetings full of men. 

It doesn't matter whether it's your parents, teachers or the society. 20s is old enough to start thinking who YOU what to be - the short skirt wearing sassy babe or the submissive child-woman constantly worrying about other people. 

How do you want to live your life - remember this is the beginning of the thinking phase and no one's asking you to move out of home (although if you did, you'd actually expedite the process of knowing who you really are)

2. Rise above your conditioning - This is one of the harder things to do since we don'd know much beyond the values and atmosphere that we've been raised with. We may think the neighbour's family is so cool, going on vacations etc but you never know what's hidden behind the layers of that facade.

But the times have changed enough that people in their 20's can start thinking earlier about moulding their own personalities than waiting for things like jobs in a different city or marriage to happen. Again this is a time to start questioning the rules of the house and forming your own opinions. 

3. It's okay to be assertive: Hell yeah! And even more so at work! 

"Don't talk back" is given to so many times that we feel reluctant about speaking up even at work. Men, who are already one up through societal rules, family conditioning and their voice and stature, go on to dominate the work world. 

Work-life balance may not make sense that early in life. You may be led to believe that since you are a junior or an intern or new, you are supposed to take orders and work through the night. 

And I am not saying you shouldn't work hard and go beyond what is asked - but only if you want to and if it is justified. 

If it's a one-off, it's fine. But if you are regularly asked to work extra or are being yelled at and treated improperly, gather your self-esteem and quit. 20 years later, you will look back and regret being a wuss! 

And if you think such situations are challenging because you are a fresher, you'll be surprised at what life throws at you even after you gain experience. So learn important skills early. 

4. Plan your life early - Don't wait till you hit 30s: Any 20-something will dismiss this as ridiculous! It's too early to think of marriage and kids - "what the hell! I am too young!", "I don't even want to have kids or even get married" - are the common responses. 

However, what you think at this point in life WILL change! Take it from me - and just to be clear no one's asking you to get married TODAY or have children TODAY. Like everything else, the planning and thinking has to start now is all I am saying. And here's why:

Marriage is a still a life-altering event for a women, even in this century. And women are the ones who still bear kids. Changing times, technology, gender equality hasn't changed these truths because nature willed it to be so. 

20's seem to be the time to plan out your career and find a standing of your own. But planning these things about your future is doing a favour to your own future self. 

Now, more than ever, by the time women hit 30's, they don't want to compromise on the careers that they have so painstakingly built. At the same time, the biological clock starts ticking and societal pressure builds up. And to add insult to injury, your own body deceives you with hormonal problems and inability to conceive. IVF and fertility hospitals and thriving exactly because of women who never planned in advance. 

And if it adds more credibility to what i am saying, I have seen people struggle through these problems failing in multiple IVF cycles instead of enjoying their 30s. (worse for people in their 40s because age is catching up really fast!)

If you ask me, this is the direct result of waiting too long. Freezing eggs couldn't be a business if not for this crisis. So go ahead, do that. You at least can preserve a part of your young self. 

5. Chill and live life: If I just scared the shit out of you painting a doom's day scenario and you are thinking what's the point even getting older, chill! I said you need to start thinking how you want your life to play out - and you will still encounter surprises and unexpected twists along the way - instead of letting life takeover.

This decade of your life is as fun as it gets, no matter what people say about age being just a number. You will have a lot of fun for the rest of your lives too. 

But this is an unencumbered stage of your life where you are at the prime of your health and youth. This is the time to create great memories that you can look back on in the future. 

So put on your LBD, step into your dancing shoes and get out there. Chug beers and knock back shots all you will - however, BE SAFE - in other words, have fun but don't be stupid. 

This is also where work-life balance matters. If you burn the midnight oil at a job that doesn't deserve it, you'll miss out on all the fun you could have in your own time. And trust me! You'll miss it if you don't get on that fun train while there is still time. 

6. Read books that matter: I know reading is a dumb thing that no one does in times of Instagram! But books are the sole reason how I know a ton of stuff after finishing college. And the short cut to learning new skills that will keep you ahead in your career is through reading.

Read fiction and non fiction on a variety of topics. It doesn't have to be philosophy and history. But great literature as so much to teach apart from non-fictional forms on skill development. 

7. Travel when you can: Nothing teaches you life skills like planning and independence than traveling. If reading opens the doors to new worlds, traveling gives you a chance to walk through them. 

Most people think of it as a luxury but it's actually an essential phase of growth. When I was in my 20s, suggesting to my parents that I want to travel would have been the best way to give them a coronary. 

But I am thankful for all the travel I did in my 30s - nervous at first but gradually sure footed, taking international flights by myself. The cultures I was exposed to, the things that went wrong and the lessons that taught me! 

And I am grateful for every bit of travel I have done in my life. From inter-state buses to international flights, the more you travel, the higher your confidence will soar. 

There are more lessons on my list but I shall end this post here. You can chew on these and I'll be back with more.