Why you should check out LiL Flea in Mumbai

What does a woman want to brighten up her boring friday evening? The prospect of shopping, perhaps? Yes!! And that's exactly what had me decide to check out Lil Flea in Bandra for the first time. And this is one of those times when I feel that I do not do justice to living in this wonderful city which has so many fun things to offer! Anyway, I digress here. So, when a friend of mine mentioned this market as a place where Raghu Dixit would be performing, it had me excited. But I reached exhilaration when I checked online to discover that along with good music, there were going to be shops!! And, of course, food. And thus began my first visit to a flea market.

The place is just about 20 minutes from where I live. The exact details of the location on the website ensure you don't have to look around a lot. You can sense the festive vibe right at the first glance. It's colourful and decorated all around. 

The central stage at the LiL Flea for the concerts

The unique seating gives a very casual, comforting and informal feel to the space. You can see swings hanging and cots with pillows for people to sprawl on, if you wish. 

(L) The swings were a favourite with everyone; (R) And that's how you spend a relaxing Friday evening!

But guess what's the first thing I started off with? The shops! (or pop up) Neatly lined and full of goodies. You can see the bursting colours in the stalls making it look like I was in some Diwali fair!

The vibrant and colourful line up of pop ups! 

Stalls with ethnic kurtis, jootis, accessories, mugs, stationery, bags/purses/clutches and a lot more - all vying for my attention. For a few moments, my head seemed to be following a tennis ball in action moving from left to right. And I also wished I had eyes at the back of my head! It was hard to decide where to stop and what to buy.

And then I happened to stop at this amazing stall called Adorables with pretty unique merchandise. It had wooden pegs for holding your bills and other papers. But what caught my attention was a set of smooth stones with pictures painted on them. Aptly called, Story Potli, each set has 5 such stones in a cloth bag. Kids, should suit under 10 years, can take out stones at random and start creating stories. I think it's a brilliant way to get kids' creativity flowing and the variety that you can introduce is endless! They could use as less or as many stones or add as many twists to their stories. And I think such events are so great to bring out such unique things unheard of amidst the commercial crowd of retail.

Find them using #Adorables on Instagram and on Facebook

As I finished looking around the shops, I could feel fragrant aroma of food wafting through the air and knew that food wasn't far away. And the rumbling in my stomach told me that it was time too! I could see fresh kebabs sizzling on skillets, biryani being served in plates and whole range of mouth watering desserts neatly lined in glass cases! I was waiting for my friends but the culinary assault on my nose and eyes was too much for me to wait. I dug into chicken fingers by Bawi Bride, popular for catering Parsi food in Mumbai. Goofy's pork burger and famous spicy chicken wings by Street Kings are other recommendations.

And then came the highlight of the day - The Raghu Dixit concert! The band spun magic yarns with their music and idiosyncratic sense of humour. He kept the crowd mesmerised and energetic by belting out popular numbers one after the other. The good thing about such a concert was that the crowds weren't overwhelming. Being a Friday evening, when people had to come from work - and I guess not many look for concerts in a flea market - there were a small crowd of people who knew the music and loved it.
(Warning: Raghu seems to have a huge problem with people typing into their phones during the concert. He told off a couple of people - one of them during a song - pretty strictly. You may want to remember that the next time)

The Raghu Dixit Project

A couple of tips: Carry cash because cards are not accepted. And avoid heels so you can comfortably walk around and still have the energy for the concerts. Also, leave your husbands with kids at the art corner where they can indulge in their creativity with play doh and colours while you shop away to glory!

Creativity corner for kids with play doh and colours

The LiL Flea is a great experience, even if you don't shop. It happens multiple times a year and you may want to keep tabs on for the next one. Drop me a line if you made it to this one and let me know what you thought about it.

Get travel ready with 27coupons!

Travel arrangements can be quite hectic! Photo credit

Holidays are just around the corner. And the heat is getting unbearable. What better way to chill out than to travel to cooler climes. Spend some quality family time. And come back with memories for a lifetime. Vacations are fun. But planning them can be stressful. Finding the right dates with the right flights, the stay, food, recreation, entertainment ...Phew! I love to travel but sometimes just the thought of all the planning puts me off. Plus, with the summer holidays around, the flights and hotel rates spiral through the roof. And annual vacations, if not planned well, can throw budgets off kilter. How I wish there were discounts and additional discounts to help us save precious bucks and yet have the time of our lives! So time to hunt for those special offers that can save you from digging a hole in your pocket. 

The internet is full of travel sites, we have used at one point or the other, to make our travel plans easier. My favourite has been cleartrip.com. I have been using the site for about 7 years now since I was first initiated into the world of travel planning by my ever voyaging husband. And since then it has been my first go-to place for flights, hotels and trains. It is quick, easy, gives you all the options available and helps you book in a jiffy. It also has offers and cash back on various credit cards and return flights. 

But what has added new wings to my vacation dreams is additional discounts that 27coupons can get me on cleartrip. I recently came across the site and discovered to my delight the whole range of discounts they have to offer on a variety of products. Food, books, electronics, entertainment, home decor, fashion and pretty much anything you can think of. 

But what caught my eye were the unbelievable discounts on travel! And that’s definitely a bonus while planning a long overdue break. Their summer sale offers upto 50% cash back on domestic flights and huge discounts on international travel. They also have combo deals if you wish to book your flights and stay together. I was happy to find some codes that apply to cancellation of hotel bookings at no extra penalty. I love such deals because I can choose to change hotels to better options without a penalty. The deals are available across airlines so that you can travel on the airline of your choice and still benefit. 27coupons accept most credit and debit cards making it easier to fit it into my usual booking process. The coupons are easy to redeem by just adding the coupon code while booking. 

There couldn’t be more exciting news for frequent travellers like me. The discount savings straight go into me shopping kitty. 27coupons has added that zing to my vacation planning because, let’s accept it - who doesn’t like discounts! I am adding it to my travel planner along with cleartrip. Looks like a winning combination to me! 

Check out their awesome deals on travel here 

You may want to read other posts that I have written on my travel experiences here: 

6 tips when you travel abroad

4 tips to travel safe as a woman

This is a sponsored post written for 27coupons.com 

Why this is the best time to be alive!

This is the best time to be alive! Photo Credit

This is the best time to be alive!

The prevalent zeitgeist is so full of positive affirmation. The vibe is favourable and promising to engage and indulge in whatever you feel like. The profession you want to be in. Or the person you don’t want to be. No, I am not brimming with misplaced exuberance. I know there are still rapes, murders and other atrocities. We do not live in a perfect world. But the world seems to have changed for the better in a lot of ways and in unprecedented leaps and bounds in the last 5 years or so. And, to me, most of it is change for the better. Seriously, my generation seems pretty anachronistic in today’s times if we don’t catch up with the times. 

The change is evident everywhere. Let’s look at the most common thing to affect all our lives - gadgets. The sheer number and variety for every possible need is mind boggling! The shapes, sizes and sleekness is a testimony to how far we have moved. When I think of my first cellphone, I am reminded of a thick, black brick! I am sure kids in their 20s today would refuse to even touch it. We no longer have to carry heavy laptops around. PC is a relic of the past. Ipads, kindles and their ilk have made browsing, reading easier. There are devices just to indulge in the pleasure of gaming. There are better headphones and bigger televisions. 

And to complement it all, there’s internet in the air, literally! Connectivity is the buzzword! And the kind of connectivity we have today blows my mind away. When I sent my first SMS to my friend more than a decade ago, it seemed no short of a miracle that she could read it instantly. And why not! We were, so far, used to writing reams of pages and waiting for days for the letter to arrive. (And STD calls cost an arm and a leg)

Even though, 24/7 internet is a more recent thing in my life, I sometimes wonder how I lived without it for so long. Google is my friend, guide, mentor, decision maker and what not! And when people ask what something is, I judge them! You shouldn’t ask for objective information when you have Google! And as I discover the new treats of connectivity, my belief about living in the best time ever gets stronger. I have ordered food online! I call for a cab online. And Google Maps ensures I am never lost in any part of the country! I have booked office space for just 3 hours online. I have bought onions and potatoes online! 

Thanks to connectivity, no one is too far away. You can see your grand kids grow through your computer screen. You can download apps for travel, to share pictures - even add filters to make you look more beautiful - and videos instantly, music, shopping, weather and the list is endless. 

But what I find the most fascinating about our times now - and which has had the most impact on the fabric of our society today - is the liberty to be exactly who you want to be. Gender and age no bar. Pursue your dreams. Follow your heart. Love cooking? Be a chef. Even if you are man. Love music? Grow your hair and make independent music. Stuck at home with an infant? Start a blog and tell the world about your passion. Want to change the world? Start a revolution on social media. Can’t find a job? Be an entrepreneur. 

We live in times when people get free food and are paid to write reviews about it. Food bloggers! People make money out of telling you what colours to wear. Image consultants! You can just sit home and write full time to make money. Bloggers! No matter what you want to do, you’ll find support. And it’s easier to connect with like minded people, thanks to social media. No place is too far and no information inaccessible. 

Have I missed out on something. Go ahead and add it in your comments. Would love to hear your ideas on what makes these the best times for you!

Why we need one day to celebrate women

I was walking up the stairs of a hotel venue for an event when I overheard this and couldn’t stop myself from turning around to listen. A mother of a girl, about 5 years old, was telling another older woman about how the boys she was playing earlier with in the residential colony wanted to run. And when she tried to join them they told her that she cannot run because she is a girl. The girl seemed distraught at being discouraged by her peers. And her mother was trying to tell her that she can do what she likes and being a girl had nothing to do with it. Since they knew I was listening to this, I reassured the little girl that girls can do anything they want and she shouldn’t let anyone tell her otherwise.

Even though this was just a passing incident, it did stay in my mind even weeks later. I thought the world has progressed. Women are equal. Girls are educated just like boys are. At least the modern educated parents are teaching their boys to treat girls with respect, as equals. Where did these little boys learn that girls cannot run because they are girls. From the grown ups around them, obviously. I felt something break inside me - I think the hope that I had of change in attitudes for girls at least from the generation of these kids. 

I am sure these are the very parents who tell their boys not to cry like a girl. And then when these boys and girls grow up, we complain about boys treating girls inferior and committing crimes against them. Who taught them that girls aren’t worthy of equal respect? Sadly, even parents from better income and education don’t seem to be creating a level playing field let alone ignorant and less educated people from less fortunate economic backgrounds. 

So where does the change start? Actually, nowhere! A woman’s/girl’s status remains where it was. Yes, we have more freedom today. But we also have ruthless rapists proclaiming that girls alone are responsible for rapes. You step out and you deserve to be physically violated just because you are a girl. And your place is to sit at home and take care of everyone. You walk out at night and you risk becoming another Nirbhaya. Worse still, a nameless victims lost in the pages of police case histories. 

Yes, we have better education and almost equal opportunities. But we also have parents telling their boys that you can run while a girl your age cannot. We are hammering home the difference between genders even before kids probably understand the difference. We have already laid the foundation for these little girls to grow up and begin their fight with the system and society to give them equal rights. Which they are never going to get, anyways. 

And I feel this deep prejudice about girls is a part of the DNA of our civilization. And there are seemingly harmless ways in which it manifests itself but nevertheless adds to the bigger picture. To me, even a seemingly harmless comment on a woman’s mood swings just because she goes through hormonal changes (even though her outburst might have nothing to do with being a woman) is an example of it. It’s like she is not a human at all. Just a gender going through vagaries of humour that the female race is generally wont to. 

Even today, it’s a girl who leaves her parents to live with her husband and his family. And before I hear dissenting voices about what a shit load of crap this allegation is, I’d like to say that I am yet to see a husband pack his bags to live at his wife’s! No matter how independent a woman is, she is the one still torn with guilt between home and job. Men have been a huge help, no doubt. But I guess holding ourselves responsible for keeping a perfect home and proving ourselves in our career seems to have been ingrained in our unalterable DNA too. 

And while I was still ruminating about all this, out comes the controversial Nirbhaya documentary rams right into the face of rigid mindsets. At the outset, I am no legal, social, diplomatic expert to comment on the right and wrong of the making of the film. I am looking at it from how I felt watching it. And how it connects to my existing thought process. My first reaction was a deluge of questions: why would anyone want to rake the ugly past of the incident and make a documentary? Why? And why would the parents want to recount and relive the ordeal just because someone wants to make a film? Why...oh why would you give voice to a murderer masquerading as a rapist who should have been silenced by now for his fiendish crime? 

Prima facie, the film looks like a very balanced view of putting together all aspects of the story speaking to all the people involved along the journey. But in hindsight, I am pretty sure it is a well orchestrated, craftily put together film to show exactly the stereotypes we are trying to fight. The abject poverty of the rapists (India is still a poor country), the cringe worthy, regressive views of the lawyers (India still treats women as inferior citizens) and the worst is the rapist mouthing the rapists’ anthem (deliberately stereotyping a rapist?) - women shouldn’t protest, the victim should be killed. And the dignified, aspirational parents of Jyoti Singh providing the perfect contrast to rapists who lost the battle of poverty while they tried to rise above it by educating their daughter. (a daughter, no less! Here, the emblem of changing India was brutally raped and killed. Can anything else sell better in the international market?)

(The documentary not just gives him an opportunity to speak but he becomes a popular news item and his views are proudly aired on every mainstream and social media. People criticized him but nevertheless brings him into the limelight and that’s not good news)

And this whole exercise just seemed to reinforce, globally, exactly the mindset and attitudes we are trying to fight. So you can cry hoarse about today being Women’s Day and the whole spiel that goes with her diverse, selfless roles. But the die has been cast even in the minds of young children that girls cannot run like boys. And it will always be derogatory to do thing #LikeAGirl. And that's why we need one day in a year to glorify women and give them back some self-respect, acknowledge their contributions through the year and make them feel valued. Because we go back to our narrow mindsets for the rest of the year. 

Nothing has changed since Jyoti became Nirbhaya.

My awesome time at Social Media Week, Bangalore!

The awesome event I was a part of! Photo credit 

I still have the draft from last year with my thoughts on my first Social Media Week in Mumbai. From a participant who heard about the event for the first time 6 months ago to a volunteer as part of the twitter team, it’s been a very exciting, informative and fun journey. From a novice who was just learning about social media to almost a partner in the event who got a glimpse into the nuts and bolts of how this mammoth event comes to reality, social media is an inseparable part of my life now. While social media continues to baffle me with the sheer magnitude of information on it, I think the recent event helped me wrap my head around a few things.

I’ll start with the thoughts I had jotted down last year. And they pretty much hold true even today. Not any less true, at least. 

1. Social media is bang in a middle of everything

2. Everyone is a brand

3. No matter who you are and who you do, you can't escape social media

4. Whatever your profession, social media can help you

So, last year at that time, I was beginning to learn how to set up a blog and leverage on the power of the medium. I also spent, and still do, hours online to read up blogs, articles that I feel can help me make my journey of setting up my online presence easier. As a soft skills trainer, it becomes harder sometime to keep the worlds separate since social media has so much to do about communication and presenting yourself to the people out there. But, blurred as it may sometimes get, I make sure that the lines between corporate trainer, Image consultant and a social media professional are respected and I try to stay within my territory. The more I read, the more it helps me gain perspective. 

The Learning stage last year was exactly what a student of social media like me was looking for. Topics from content writing to should you make an app, it covered a whole range of subjects. Unforgettable also is the food and hospitality of Novotel, Juhu! 

The awesome SMW Twitter team in 2015! Photo credit

This year was a whole new ball game. 3 twitter handles, 2 blogs and 1 FB profile (and now aspiring to G+) later, I seem to have dabbled enough in the media to have my own nuggets of wisdom to spread. But excited and curious as I am to learn about new things, being a part of the Twitter team this year was a total riot. Both at the learning and at the fun parts. I also got an opportunity to understand how these sessions are organised. All the speakers are honorary which speaks volumes about the willingness of people to give back to the community. Also, the sheer range of topics covered, like last time, is mind boggling. There’s something for everyone - novices, professional, techies. 

While I am not too keen on analytics - which I know is important for my own blogs - I did have a blast tweeting away to glory indulging in my creative writing skills. The character limit is a problem but I guess the challenge just adds to the thrill of expressing more in less. So, no matter who won the race, I definitely had a great time. 

Hacking away at my keyboard! 

The group of friends on the same team were no less fun. I definitely made some friends for life. And thank you, SMW for that bonus! We would all gather at our respective venues, plug our devices (put on jackets for some freezing venues!) and type away to glory. Not a very click-photos-a-minute person, I’d wait for others to click them and add them to my tweets! The sheer thrill and excitement of sending out events that were unraveling live before us through tweets was unparalleled! 

Just a sample of the endless selfies! 

Another phenomenon that I got to look at closely was concept of Twitter celebrities/influencers. No, I am not still sure about what makes them celebrities or what they do to become one. But to my limited understanding, these ‘Twiterratis’ (though I am not sure what this word means too!) are supposed to be very active, very popular and a following of a few thousand people hanging on their every word. Like I said, I don’t know what gets a celebrity status. But I did meet a few of them and I am touched by how down to earth these people are. I almost doubt that we just put them on a pedestal where they appear exclusive and inaccessible. I am sure it isn’t very easy to keep up with all followers but one can’t do it unless one has a genuine interest in keeping in touch and talking to people. Inspirational!

With Shakthi - India's most followed differently abled person. 

With Tinu Cherian - one of the founders of @WeAreBangalore and a Twitter celebrity himself!

With Sean Gardner - the Forbes no. 1 influencer on social media

So while I am still reeling under the impact of Social Media Week, Bangalore, there are already talks of the next one in September! While I am so looking forward to it, I also have a blog to run and should get back to work. So drop me your comments below and I will see you around! 

My experiences with the full time job interview tamasha

Most interviewers are clueless! 

Working as a freelancer offers a lot of flexibility to choose work and plan other things in my life. Though it doesn’t really rain money, it definitely is the ideal situation that helps achieve balance in life. However, one of the biggest downsides of being an independent professional for about 8 years is the intolerance of the full time job tamasha. I never went back to a full time job after I quit my last one in 2007, so it would be wrong to say that I am clued into the current state of office politics and gossip. But the few times that I have attempted to get back to a full time job till as recent as a couple of years ago, the interview tamasha has been enough to put me off the whole idea. 

Most organizations, and by that I mean people in power who run those organizations, think that their time is precious and the job seeker is a poor helpless person at their mercy. And  mostly the position applied for doesn't make much of a difference. (Unless maybe we are talking about CEO level positions) These people in power are supposed to uphold the culture of their organization and project it to people they interact with. So either most companies have a lousy culture or these very people, as we will see, do a great job of dragging it down. 

Even though I vividly remember my last full time interview, my post is a general impression of several of them over the years. The first thing that infuriates me is the tradition of making people wait! Every single time! This is the norm even at clients’ when I go meet them for freelance assignments. I agree that Indians are not exactly known for being punctual but most of the times no one cares how late they are. I completely understand getting caught in meetings resulting in delay by a quarter of an hour. But I have had people not turn up for upto an hour after the appointed time. Whether the employees are disrespectful and careless or the company culture condones this discourtesy is beyond my understanding. Asking someone to arrive at a particular time and then getting busy with something else at the same time is a direct indication of where the candidate comes in your priority list. 

The elaborate job application is totally redundant

As if this isn’t disgusting enough, another huge turn off is the endless form one is required to fill up as part of the process. Maybe that is just a ploy invented to fill up the futile wait hoping someone from the HR dept to turn up. This, despite the fact that the resume has already been sent twice or more to different people and the interviewer will definitely turn up, whenever he or she finally does, with a printed copy of it. I wouldn’t mind this if the form helps the interviewer with a quick recap of relevant information pertaining to the job, making it easier to navigate through the resume. Instead the form requires you to fill in elaborate details from your blood group, family members, their age and occupation to educational details of every class, decimal percentage of each, the board studied in, every job you were ever employed in with references, every worthy and unworthy achievement of your life, the passport number, the driving license number, health details and also space to justify your candidature. I am thinking it is totally unfair to leave out my pets’ names, favourite school teacher, my shoe size, the colour of my bra, my first boyfriend’s name and the fact that my neighbour’s uncle’s second cousin happens to live on the same street as the local MLA’s brother-in-law. In fact, completing that form is like a cathartic journey through my life which also probably reveals to me the unfortunate circumstances that landed me in this place.  

As I start to recover from huffing at the end of my form filling journey of life, I feel that my day is finally looking up with the HR person walking in my direction. And true enough, she is clutching the handful of sheets I just finished along with my resume. And just as I feel relieved that this will end soon and I will be able to gather whatever modicum of respect left and go home, the interviewer opens her mouth. And much to my chagrin, the first question, invariably is - why don’t you quickly run me through the highlights of your career? And I swear to God, this is exactly the point when, at the risk of being declared a lunatic, I want to scream like a banshee and tell her she has all the information about me - provided twice - in the documents she’s carried with herself. She just has to READ IT. Even if it to put to rest the souls of trees that were cut down to get her those god damn copies. But then I concede defeat and start the mechanical process of talking about myself since I don’t want to give up after having put in so much of time and effort. And superhuman levels of patience. 

The problem with our education system and then the corporate world is that we train and train people to appear in interviews and fool the interviewer in order to clear them. But there is very little training given to interviewers to save them from making a fool of themselves. Intelligent questions that make sense are usually hard to come by. I wouldn’t need fingers on both my hands to count the number of interviews where I was impressed by the interviewers or have been asked questions that made me think for a moment before I answer. There is a dearth of smart interviewers. Corporates forget that unless they are dealing with a novice straight out of college, they are being judged as much as they judge the candidate. “Let me tell you about what we do” - is my cue that the evaluation process is over and there are going to be no more questions. This could sometimes come after just 2 questions summing up the IQ level of the interviewer. 

In some cases, there might be more than one round. And somehow by the second round I have realised that the duration you are made to wait is directly proportional to the importance of the person in line to ask questions. It’s like a competition within the company where you being free to meet up right away might prove that you are useless and jobless. By this time, I am usually regretting ever wanting to come back to a full time job. If I had to work with these insufferable fools who are intolerable for a few hours, I guess I’d rather just quit working and commit professional suicide if I had to bear them all day long, 6 days a week for years! The prospect itself runs a chill down my spine. 

And oh! The masterstroke that proves the futility of the whole thing is yet to come. The person co-ordinating the whole sham jubilantly walks up to me with tidings of my selection! And pops the much awaited question - When can you join? And as my face unexpectedly falls, I want to hold him by the scruff of his neck and remind him of something called an offer letter that answers the question I want to pop - what will you pay? But then like I said no one really cares for your side of the equation since you are the seeker and employers, the providers. I am so drained out by then and have rejected them as my employers that I mumble something that sounds committed enough to get out of there to my life and freedom! 

I'd like to end by adding a disclaimer that this post is not meant to malign anyone or suggest that people running organisations lack the discipline to do their job. This post is based on subjective experiences and is not a comment on people at large. 

Do you have any interview experiences to share? Tell me in your comments. I'd love to hear from you. 

Are men really villains?

Relax! It's not a fight!
Photo credit

For centuries now, men have been perpetrators of injustice on women. They are the villains and women the victims. They are supposed to be the rulers of the house and women submit to their will. But has anyone ever wondered how hard it is to be man? How herculean it is to carry the cross of being the strong, responsible ones protecting the rest of mankind? While Feminists are up against anything against women, no one spares a thought about the shackles imposed on being a man. I think they deserve some thought. And so, here’s to the men of the world! 

I think the biggest problem of being a man is just being that is enough to raise suspicions. To get you into trouble. You are always a man first, not a human being. You can’t talk to classmates just because they are girls. You have to be extra careful around them lest anything you say or do is misconstrued. You can’t compliment a colleague because that can amount to sexual harassment at the work place. You cant even behave like a normal person would. If a beautiful woman walks in, what do you do? Not look? Close your eyes? But just looking at her makes you a pervert! And that is so unfair! And if you offer to help a woman on your own, you get stares as if you are a rapist! 

For all the independence and liberty women tom-tom about, it’s the poor man who is always supposed to be the brave one! In all situations. From cockroaches to goons, it’s your job to defend the lady. I mean even you could be scared of that filthy insect, right? But when your woman screams and takes refuge behind you, what option do you have but to bravely brandish the broom and aim at the hapless intruder who seems to be born just to test your bravery! You can’t back out and be a wuss. You have to be formidable at all times and belt out a classy “ Aurat ko kya chhed raha hai be, pehle mujhse baat kar” even as armed goons threaten you in all their ferocity! I mean you are expected to risk your life just because you are a man. Why can’t the liberated woman of the 21st century defend her ass herself? 

And on that note, given the 21st century feminism shit, your whole status quo is royally screwed. What exactly are you supposed to do to earn brownie points? To not be looked up as the villain in women's lives? Earlier, you could just mooch off the hard work of the women of the house. But now you are expected to cook, clean, shop, take care of kids and still suffer condescending looks from women who just don't give you enough credit for trying your best to evolve faster and match the high standards of the modern woman! 

Photo credit

“Don’t cry like a girl - be a man!"- is an anthem men are taught to follow. Weeping is feminine and not shedding tears is manly. Emotions and tears are a human thing, you say? I agree. What does expressing what you feel have to do with being a man? I concur. But unfortunately, being a man bereaves you of the catharsis that comes with a good howl. The feeling of letting go when you are all knotted inside. But you can’t really do that. At least not in public. I am sorry, man! I really am! 

By virtue of being a man, certain things are just a given about you. You should know how to drive. And should know how to parallel park. You should pay the bill when you go out with a girl. You should earn a good salary right in your 20’s. You should propose first. And spend tortuous, sleepless nights about what the girl’s answer will be. And no, you aren’t expected to know how to cook. Men are raised as Mamma’s darlings and that haunts them for the rest of their lives. Can you imagine what a helpless situation that is to be in when the tummy is growling with hunger? I mean, give men a break!

Photo credit 

And damn the latest Bollywood lot!! Any man with less than 6 pack abs is a loser. And the competition gets really tough to ignore when all girlfriends go drooling over Ranveer Singh and then look at you as a consolation prize. So not pumping iron in the gym with protein shakes in tow is not an option. While women continue to indulge themselves with their favourite desserts because PMS cravings! If you can’t do as many reps as the girls in your unisex aerobics class, they judge you. Like just being a man gives you the strength of Shaktiman or something! Tch! Tch! 

Women can finish school and plonk themselves at home waiting for their well-earning prince charming and holy matrimony. Nope, no such luck for men. If you think they have it easy by just being in the matrimonial market, you are wrong! They work bloody hard to earn the demands their parents make of the bride’s family. And do you think just because women are now successful, independent ones, they'll cut some slack for men after marriage? Nope, house husbands are still not a respectable thing to do in our country. While making too much money makes a woman masculine, not earning well makes men a wuss. Ah! Double standards! 

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This one takes the cake! Men are expected to understand inscrutable phenomenon like PMS and Periods with absolutely no frame of reference in their own life. No, cramping is nothing close to anything a man goes through. And it’s hard to imagine that with a missing uterus in the body. So it worked fine to make jokes about it as a coping mechanism to hide the embarrassment or ignorance or both. Till Feminists made it sound like a crime. As if you are an insensitive bastard who doesn’t care what the other half of the world’s population goes through month after month. Life is challenging for you too! Sigh!

You lose out on all the advantages that come with being a woman. I mean it’s not your fault that you don’t have breasts to attract attention! You aren’t feminine with a curvy frame. Doors don’t magically open for you just by being the gender you are like it does for women. No one moves aside to let you ahead of the queue. No one offers to park your car if you are stuck with it (you are supposed to know it yourself dumbo! You are a man!) No one offers you a seat in public transit. You are treated like an alien and kept out of the women only compartments. You can never reap the miraculous effects of a woman’s sorry face and a plea - “Bhaiya, thoda jaldi karwa dijiye na!” While that works as a wizard’s wand for a woman, no such luck for men. Wish you were endowed with some of that charm, don’t you? 

So, ladies all I am saying is that don’t be in a hurry to judge men. Yes, most of them are good but there are some assholes too! If we have emerged victorious having broken traditional conventions about what a woman should be, I think men also deserve a break. Let’s teach them to cook. And sometimes be the first ones to propose. And leave them alone for a bit of they don’t get the monthly drama of women. The poor fellows have no idea! 

Dear men, this is my humble attempt to bring forth your agony before the world. Kindly forgive me if I hurt your ego and crushed your sense of false self-importance imposed on you by the world. Whatever you feel, drop me a line. Praises, brickbats - all welcome!