Mumbai Local - an inside view of an outsider

i am no authority to discuss the spirit of Mumbai since i’ve lived here for just a little less than 2 years as opposed to people who have spent their entire lifetimes here. In that little time that i’ve lived her, i can say with confidence - the city has a great spirit and an indomitable at that. And nowhere is that spirit more visible than on a local train during peak hours! Every time i travel by a local train, i cannot help but be absolutely astonished and intimidated at the same time at the way people herd together and set out for their destinations. (Thankfully i don’t need to do that everyday like other job-goers, or i’d crumble in a day!)

In my opinion, you need quite a bit of grit and courage to step into that mammoth locomotive that breathes like a living being during peak hours!! The most popular mode commuting in the Mumbai Metropolitan Region, the Mumbai local faces overcrowding as a compelling problem. The 9 car rake with a capacity of 1700 holds about 5000 passengers during the peak hours in the morning and evening. That is 14 to 16 people passengers standing on per square meter of floor space! Phew! Those are mind boggling statistics indeed!

People joke around saying you just need to make it to the front of the entry and the crowd behind you will ensure you are pushed into the compartment. My initial experiences were a little different. i always ended up being the last one in the crowd after being pushed away by the rest who knew how exactly to make their way and it was too full to get in by the time the other women have stuffed themselves. i am still by no means adept at making my way first, but i do manage to throw myself on the crowd which ensures that am shoved into the boggie! And i need to get right inside unlike women who insist on standing at the edge of the entrance holding the pole! It took my breathe away a couple of times when i was stuck there since i couldn’t puch in any further and couldn’t afford to miss the train!

Once inside there’s no way the jerks and bumps of the moving train can make you fall. Since everyone is held tightly packed in place by the crowd around. i can just about manage to turn my neck a wee bit and push my eyeballs to the corners of my to catch a glimpse of people my co-passengers (who just don’t look like co-sufferers!!). Everyone except me seems to feel at home and some even strike a perfectly animated conversations with their train friends about anything under the sun. i don’t need to hold on to a pole to steady myself is good news but with no freedom of movement, there’s precious little that i can do with my hands except try my best to ensure my personal things aren’t pulled away along with people getting down at stations.

A few journeys during peak hours threw up patterns and i realised there is a method to the madness. The lucky ones sitting comfortably are the ones who’ll stay till the last station. They have the luxury to be chatting with friends they've made on these trains, even share snacks turning the journey into a picnic of sorts. Then, there are people turning towards either doors and there are people stuck in the middle. The ones near the door are going to be out at the nearest station and the others will take their place for the next station. It’s after going through hard times that I realised how lethal it can to put yourself in the way of that mob on its way out. Now I ensure that I stand right in the middle, neither turn left nor right and stay away from the powerful stream of people waiting for their exit.

The Mumbai local also has a serene almost listless side to it. The second class ladies compartment in the not so rush hours is fun. You can just doze off on your seat or pass your time with lots of itsy bitsy stuff on sale. From clips to junk jewellery, stickers, kids books, cheap toys, even vegetables, Women also get home-made snacks for women who would want to munch to keep hunger pangs at bay till they reach home. Those are times you can see the city go by and extract your moments of peace on the train.

It’s only a true-blue Mumbaiite with his undaunted spirit who can go through the grind. Not accidents on the tracks, not the crowd, not the sweat, not even bomb blast succeeds in taking away the resoluteness and faith that the Mumbaikar has in this great phenomenon called Mumbai Local.

Salaam Mumbai!

Wake up Sid - some thoughts

Wake up Sid, broadly speaking, has that freshness about it. It’s not the usual mushy Karan Johar flick with loads of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai-isk overdose of melodrama. The plot is simple, real and narrated as simply with no luxurious foreign locales or extravagantly shot numbers, not even for the glamour element. (Though the temptation to do that could have been too strong to resist and would spoil the whole effect of the movie)

Ranbir Kapoor, i think, greatly contributes to the fresh appeal of the film. It’s time that middle-aged men stopped playing college lads in Karan Johar’s films and someone young stepped into their shoes. None of Ranbir’s previous films have worked too well so he is not yet typecast. He perfectly fits the bill of a careless, spoilt-brat-of-a-rich-dad with no aim in life. His verve and spirit of partying and having fun add sparkle to the character. But, thankfully, his transformation is realistic through photography, which is one of his passions. It would be very unrealistic to show him succeed in his father’s business or through a 9-5 job.

Konkana Sen Sharma, unfortunately doesn’t match Ranbir’s fresh appeal. She is as brilliant as ever in her art but we have seen her to many times as the wannabe independent girl in pursuit of finding and maintaining her own identity. (Life in a Metro and Page 3, Luck by Chance are cases in point). Manish Malhotra also doesn’t seem to be too impressive in dressing her up. She’s in boring kurtis all through the film (ok, the glamour quotient is on the lower side in the film, unlike other KJo movies) and she could have been given a better look considering that she is the main lead here and its a commercial film.

Anupam Kher’s performance needs no words of praise as a helpless father of a truant son who refuses to grow up. I have no clue how Kashmera Shah or the old landlady add to the plot. Rahul Khanna is great in his cameo as the editor of Mumbai Beat and looks quite mature.

The portrayal of emotions is quite subtle in the movie. You just feel the helplessness of a father or the growing friendship between two people of opposite sex. i like the pace at which their relationship grows gradually and doesn’t presume love or sexual tension between the two right from the beginning. Sid coming of age is also brought out with ease through his struggle to mend his ways as circumstances force him to do that.

Of course, you see the usual KJo strokes in the revamp of an entire house by the leading lady even wen she doesn’t even have a job. I mean you can afford to paint and furnish your entire house and still afford to pay the rent for a Mumbai property even before you earn “apne paise” only if you have a producer’s deep pockets supporting you.

Overall it’s a great movie with a fusion of fun and emotion. It's worth watching.

I am trying to see the backside of the house.....

I cannot follow what you tell ma’am.... Can you please repeat again?

My name ij sudhasu.... I study in graduason 2nd yr and come here ....phor learn englis. Englis important...... phor job and in study

I phrom Bihar but live in dilli....i living alone....and cook myself phor dinner......

The above sentences represent the almost existential aspiration of every middle class and not so middle class Indian to spout the highest sounding language with the best foren accent. i’ve borne all this and been up close to that aspiration in every communication class of mine for about 2 yrs while i was in the garb of a Call Center Trainer (and even the rest of the years in other roles). That once ubiquitous, but now almost extinct tribe, was responsible for the metamorphosis of the Indian youth into an angrezi speaking workforce of some employer in the West.

Yes, English is important in today’s global world if you want to get ahead in life. But what’s it with Indian English that simply refuses to correct its grammar despite English speaking schools in every street corner and grammar classes in every locality of the country!! But alas the kind of English that even the so called educated class speaks ensures that aspiration remains pretty much what it is - an aspiration.

Grammar is taught right from the primary classes in our country. And great emphasis is laid on the propriety of usage of words and correctness of grammar. Everyone’s heard of Wren and Martin (not noticing how they turn in their grave when people blatantly flout all the rules of grammar they set down) whether or not the follow them. We are proud of following the Queen’s English as opposed to the slang version of Americans. Yet, the lack of expertise somewhere peeps in through the holes of unfamiliarity with the language during conversational English.

The first group i’d like to pick up are the representatives of firang counterparts - the call centre executives. Yes, Indians are very versatile and their tongues can be twisted to speak any accent. But most call centres that seek to offer help are badly marred by the poor language their executives speak. Even the ones that stand for reputed companies- from Dish TV to HDFC bank call centres and Airtel phone services. And this after, i am sure they have gone through training in language and accent skills. The only sentences they can spew with perfection are the stilted - “may I put your call on hold ma’am?” and “thank you for holding, we appreciate you patience Ms. Kher” or “thank you for calling Airtel, this is Charan Das, How may I help you?” or even more tedious “ is there anything else that I can help you with ma’am (when you answer in the negative, not having found a proper solution even to your current query), thank you for calling Airtel. We wish you a very pleasant day ahead”. Deviate one bit from their verbal screenplay and the cracks start emerging - lack of even basic conversational English!

Even if you look at the educated, office going category - even people who speak English on a daily basis make mistakes that are not expected of them. I got pulled by a sales executive of an international brand of cosmetics in a mall today. She dutifully pulled out lipstick testers and started applying on the back of my hand with helpful product info - “this lipstick also work as lip balm and have lip moisturiser, ma’am”. And I am like what the hell - error that’s so basic and we hope to attract international clientele with something like this!! ( I went hoarse all my training life explaining to my students that agreement of the verb with the subject is the life of a sentence - and Indians are champions in taking that life away!) some of the most atrocious announcements in the most horrendous English and accent happen in reputed chains like Big Bazaar!


The examples can be endless. Skills sets - most importantly, mastery over the global language - is a must if India with its workforce of 1.07 billion has to register its power in the international geo-political scenario. We have the people, we only need to equip them with the right skills. Being humans, speaking the right language has to be the first step.

(More post-mortem of the educated class English in future posts!)

Pati Patni aur Woh

i ran into, of all programs, Pati Patni aur Woh on NDTV Imagine. i watched it out of sheer curiosity and was downright disappointed, not that i expected anything great out of it. The show seems to have brought the Swayamvar Saga to full circle with kids raining in the lives of 7 couples out of nowhere. And just 5 minutes into the program you realise how devoid it is of any parental affection and warmth. The name of the show itself projects the baby as the source of all trouble - the “Woh” of Bollywood!. And the couples with parenthood inflicted on them are as gauche handling babies as the little ones are uncomfortable with them. The attempt at simulating a happy family is a complete mockery of the divine feeling of being blessed with a little angel.

The process of parenthood entails months of mental preparation and reading up on the general knowledge of bringing up kids. But people on this show seem to have dropped their shopping bags and happily picked up kids. Only to realise, to their horror, kids are not cute all the time. The all-of-a-sudden parents make parenthood seem such a terrible nightmare since most kids are bawling away to glory at least this early into the show. Any kid would with a new set of parents being thrust on them overnight. Our trend setting queen of the Swayamvar saga has broken all records in looking her ugly best. If feels as if the kid doesn’t even let you wear decent clothes and comb your hair. (no wonder her kid cries the most!!)


The couples are thoroughly unprepared for basic tasks like even nappy changing! One of them is trying her hand at cooking for the first time! And their attempts at pacifying a crying toddler is just as desperate. Just like you would handle someone else’s kid given to you for a few days! I am totally aghast at how the kids’ real parents agreed to subject their babies to such a blatant screw up, such immature treatment of their loved ones!!! Some of them are already shedding tears of anguish.

Guess, money makes the world go round and reality TV attracts eyeballs!

Jaane kahan gaye wo din......

i really wanted to listen to something soothing last night. Switched on the radio and heard the latest hits being churned out for the umpteenth time. So i went online and started playing oldies...ummm...and that’s literally music to the ears. Golden hits from Anand, Abhimaan, Anupama....

It just set me thinking... These songs still retain their charm and pristine innocence that pulls at our heart strings even decades after they were first heard. Almost everything that belongs to those times has become obsolete...but not the music! Their appeal is just the same, their melody as sweet. Hummable at all times, in all moods. Kishore Kumar, Lata Mangeshkar, Asha, Bhonsle, Manna De, Mohd Rafi and others of their era are the true legends living through generations. The fibre of their work has the tenacity to last for ages - from our grandparents, parents down to us and who knows...to our children as well!

Simply great is also the simplicity with which they are shot. No flashy costumes, no glaring make-up and had anyone heard of size zero?? Naah! And yet the leading Ladies look so alluring and lovely in their big hairdos, kohl adorned eyes and beautifully draped sarees. Plump by our current standards yet truly gorgeous! Just the cliché running around the trees or looking into each others eyes but truly romantic and a feast to the eyes.

Today, we have hit songs and superhit ones produced out of electronic instruments (or something of that sort). We have one set of hits played day in and day out only to be replaced by another set in due course. Yes, this is contemporary music and we possibly couldn’t live without the music of our times like other things. These songs define present taste and the popular demand. They are a reflection of our times, our comfort zone.

But can never match up to the ones from the yesteryears. When we need some comforting and go looking for something different from the jang...jang...jang we listen to on our way to work and back, there’s always the tranquil and calming masterpieces to turn to. So let the music play on.....

Crackers, sweets and lots of fun.....

It’s that time of the year again when we are in the midst of festivals and celebrations. We had just gotten over the excitement of Ganapati immersion and it was time to don our best Garba gear and dance away till the crack of dawn. While we fasted for Navratras, there was the holy month of Ramadan fasting for the muslims and Paryushan Parv for the Jains as ways to uplift themselves spiritually. And no it’s not over yet! Dussehra celebrated the victory of good over evil by burning Ravan effigies and we are anticipating Diwali to mark Lord Ram’s homecoming with his bride for Diwali.

Such is the sweep and richness of the Indian culture that we have occasions to be bursting with festive spirit all through the year. Every festival, no matter which community it belongs to, has its own ancient cultural and mythical significance. And when we look around, we’ll find that we have so much to learn. These festivals usher in a didactic message - All religions are one. Our festivals mostly marry worship with celebration, fasting with feasting, austerity with opulence. The fasting signifies strengthening of the moral fibre and the successful completion of the penance calls for celebration. All, like the others, have a way of worship through penance for your past sins, a way of getting closer to our Creator. The twin themes of worship and celebration runs throughout. The feast of Diwali has Lakshmi Pooja and Raksha Bandhan has a prayer for a brother's long life. Delhities fast during Navratras culminating it with 
Ashtami pooja while Mumbaikars gyrate to dandya songs and worship Garba (the pot with diyas)

We might have our own ways of merry making but food, drink and dressing up are invariably a part of it. The market places are decorated, teeming with activity as people catch up with their shopping. Dandya sticks and Garba garbs, Rakhi for brothers, buntings to decorate the house, diyas to light outside and lots of sweets to gorge on.

The festivities is also a time to catch up with near and dear ones and shore up the ties with them. It is in India that we have so many occasions to be a big large family! An occasion to take time out and spend some quality time with old parents, school friends, brothers, sisters, cousins, grandparents and the neighbourhood who saw you when you were a little kid!!

So go all out and enjoyy!!

Weekend trip to Lonavla

There is nothing like driving out of the city hustle and bustle even if it is for a weekend. Driving from Mumbai to Lonavla is a fun journey through the Eastern Expressway. You can easily hit 160 km/hr on the smooth and well made road. It almost gets surreal as you see the scenery whoosh past in seconds! There are trains and buses that take you to Lonavla - which are also convenient and not very expensive. Around 96 kms from Mumbai, Lonavla is a hill station that can be reached in 2 hours flat.

To me, places like Lonavla and Khandala are ideal weekend getaways for many reasons. One they are at a drive-down distance and can do without booking train/bus tickets. You just need to dump stuff in your car and get going! Once there, it's a pretty laid back, predominantly a touristy place and doesn't rquire much planning to look around. You can use your own car to explore the place than having to call a localite to drive you around. The best thing is the quiet at such places. You don't have horns honking and automobiles blaring on the streets outside. And that's exactly what we, denizens of metro cities, crave for!

As with all elevated places, the 'points' from where you can view the valley below are famous. Lonavla has its fair share - Rajmachi point, Lion's point and a few more places that have mushroomed with food stalls and camel rides as tourist attractions. The higher the point, the more misty it gets. And honestly, you look down one of those points and its good enough. The verdant greenery and hilly terrain is a welcome sight to the weary eyes tired of watching the urban jungle day in and day out.

Lonavle mein chikki khayenge, waterfall pe jaayenge - who can forget the lyrics of the famous song. And truthfully so, the experience of Lonavla is incomplete without chikkis in mouth-watering flavours and colours. With Maganlal Chikkis dominating the marketplace, savour groundnut chikkis (my personal fav!) to the calorie rich dry fruit chikkis (my husband's fav!) or chikkis of til, coconut and ground groundnut - made in sugar or jaggery. The soft roles in different flavours of anjeer, mango, dates, pan simply melt in your mouth. Not to mention jelly sweets that are just as irresistible. Once you go chikki shopping in Lonavla, which you must, throw your diet chart out of the your mind and just indulge!!!

Fudge in different flavours is another delectable offering of this hill station. Available in flavours like chocolate, mango and strawberry, you need to develop a taste for them, which i didn't. You get to taste them before you decide to buy them, so you can be sure before to take your pick.

What really becomes memorable through your Lonavala experience is the drive to Aamby Valley City. I had never even heard of it and was helpfully informed by my husband that it is a self-sufficient luxury metropolis built for those who can afford a piece of land in that heavenly sprawl of 10000 acres. You get an idea of the exclusivity of the City through your drive that is breathtaking. It's about 25 kms from Lonavla, nestled among the Sahyadri range amidst verdant greenery and fresh air. The drive through well made and maintained mountainous roads and thick, lush vegetation is a feast for the eyes. As you go higher, mist covers the mountain tops as if leading you to the heavens above. Cruise along at 40 km/hr and thoroughly enjoy the Nature around you and breathe fresh air for a change!

Ironically, it's not the tour of the City itself but the drive from Lonavla to the City that's etches itself in your memory. You need special permission even to step into the gates of the city. You meet with tight security and interrogation at the gate but no permission to enter. No wonder we found tourists happily getting themselves photographed sitting next to the ornate name plate "Aamby Valley City" as a proof of being there to flaunt it to friends.

A little research back home gave me a virtual peek into the city. It not just has villas of different sizes but also a Golf Club, Fitness and Convention centers, Swimming polls, gardens, an airstrip 128 kms long and open spaces with verdant greenery all over. It's worth taking a look and enjoy viewing the pleasures of luxury living....you might own some of it someday!

Though the trip was really short, it did serve as a refreshing break. And now i have to raid the kitchen and bite into one of those delicious chikkis!!!

[Photos of the trip will have to wait till i find my lost card reader or buy a new one :( ]