#NaBloPoMo Day 14 - 6 reasons why this week was awesome!

In our everyday busy lives, there are only a few times that we cherish. There are different reasons for doing that. This week was one such time for me. This week has been pretty awesome one in a long long time. Reasons:

1. My most favourite festival, Diwali
2. I could do the whole ritual of Diyas, Lakshmi pooja, decking up in my fineries and with my better half with me
3. My ever traveling spouse was home for an entire week
4. We set up our new speakers and spent some quality time listening to them
5. I let myself indulge in sweets since Diwali is not Diwali unless you eat Indian sweets. And without guilt
6. I gave my work some rest and slept like I haven't in a long time.

Can you think of times you count memorable? I'd love to hear about it.

#NaBloPoMo Day 12 - Does charity really help?

I was sitting at Marine Drive with a friend when a street kid came begging. I'll commend his cheek for saying that he wanted money to have some ice cream. Now this was new compared to the usual demand for money or food that comes form such kids. I was a little wary. The heart does melt when a sickly, unkempt little thing comes around like this - especially when you just spent for a dinner for two at Pizza By the Bay without batting an eye lid. Doesn't the kid at least deserve an ice cream! I usually chat up with such kids just to figure out what's up. Just my way to find justification in indulging a random kid. My friend was flabbergasted that I was even holding a conversation with him instead of dismissing him right away. What would you do if you were in my position?

Last evening, we stopped by the road and my spouse went into the shop to get some crackers - a first since we got married 8 years ago. I was sitting in the car when 2 kids accosted me and asked for money to have dal-chawal (rice and lentils). They even knew what one plate cost and said if they buy a full plate, both of them could have dinner. In this case, my guilt kicked in again because we were planning to give away food to street kids this Diwali but never got down to doing it. As usual, I began my drill with them to understand where do they live and what will they do with the money. And I think we also generally give in to the guilt of squandering money while these kids may not have a proper meal on a festival. What would you do here in my place?

I gave money - I think a 100 bucks each time! (yeah! I am that mushy)

What each one did with the money is his Karma. But I still like to believe that I did a good deed and my intentions were honest.

I also bought a whole bunch of stuff for Kashmir flood relief - in hindsight, I think I overdid it - to do my bit for people in need. Only to be told by a friend in the army that they did not need relief materials - a lot of which was taken away by people in charge before it reached the actual beneficiaries - but they'd appreciate if people would volunteer to help them rescue people.

I have often wondered whether our charity matters. Who deserves it? What do they do with the money/materials people get? Where does this distrust come from? What is the kind of charity I should be doing to make a real difference? While it's great to feel bad about people living on footpaths and guilty about being blessed while they are not. I think I am just conditioned with stories where people take old clothes and sell them to go back to begging in their tattered clothes. Or kids being sent to beg where all the money is taken by parents and the kid is really not the beneficiary.

Apart from my brush with street kids and other sporadic attempts at charity, the first time I really started giving away stuff was to this charity organisation called Goonj. It has proven credentials and does a great job in this area. I still gather clothes that don't fit or I won't wear and send it to their collection centres. I like the fact that they have their needs specifically marked out. Since they are serious in what they do - they need clothes in wearable condition and not as if you meant to throw them away. Humanising things you give away is touching.

I am still always confused about who is the right candidate for charity. We all find people hanging outside eateries/restaurants making you feel guilty the moment you get out. Some of them have kids in tow and I really don't know what to do.

What do you think about giving away things? Do you believe in charity for random kids, like I do? Is there an annual system you follow and ensure you have done your bit towards the less privileged? Would you like to do more for such people? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Drop your comments here or hit me on Twitter at @Suman_Kher. Waiting to hear from you!

#NaBloPoMo Day 11 - Happy Diwali

I always thought Diwali was celebrated equally among all Hindus. But as I went through experiences, I realised that each community has varying degrees of importance for the festival. There are other important ones - like Navratri is bigger for Bengalis while Keralites actually give Diwali a miss. The latter fact painfully dawned on me after I got married to one. Lighting diyas for diwali which is considered auspicious in my tradition has no significance to Keralites. Left to me, it's taken me years to trickle in the tradition bit by bit into my current life. But this Diwali turned out to be the best in all these years. Lighting the diyas, Lakshmi Pooja, hogging on sweets and even crackers thrown in. (Despite the whole Diwali should be cracker-less debate) It's like all the things that Diwali stands for in my mind magically came together. I had hoped it would and it actually did! Lights, for me, are the best part of the festival. I just love looking at lights all around during Diwali.

Tell me about how you celebrate Diwali? Is it all about sweets and visiting people? Or are you ritualistic and believe that lighting diyas and saying your prayers is the focus of your festivities? Or do you celebrate with online shopping and card parties all night? I have realised that there are different ways in which people celebrate this festival. I'd love to hear about how you all do it.

#NaBloPoMo Day 3: This Diwali, clean the cobwebs of your mind first

I stayed home today to finish some errands and work from home the rest of the day. I had just sat down to work and warming up to whatever I was doing. Just then the maid came and asked me to move from the bed so that she could clean the fans. I moved to the table on the other side and just about began my work when she was there too. A quick wipe and the fan in the bedroom was done. I had to move out of the balcony so that she could clean that area. I packed my stuff and left home to find a more peaceful place to work in. But that set me thinking.

The first thought that came to my mind was why such thorough cleaning? Scrubbing everything clean for Diwali has always been the most cliche concept I know. If you are really that keen on being squeaky clean and spotless, once a month will help achieve better results. Once a year is too infrequent. Plus, doing everything once a year needs more time and effort. Wouldn't it be more intelligent to spread it across the year?

The second thought that jumped at me was that there’s no point making our homes look pristine if we can’t get rid of the muck and filth in our minds. Even though I had a specific person in mind when I thought of that, I think it applies to all of us. I was also reminded of this picture that Gurprriet Singh, who I follow on Twitter, had posted a while back. And to me, this is the real cleaning for any occasion. Why scrub our homes to purity while we still nurse grudges, feel jealous of the neighbour's prosperity and discriminate against the poor!

Clear the cobwebs in your mind first! (Photo Credit: @JoyAndLife)

A spotless house is of no use unless the people living in it make it a home with uncluttered thoughts of pure love for each other. Why wait till the new year to let go of the old and make a fresh start? Look inside, peep into dark corners you’d like to light up this Diwali. Wipe out the dust of indecision, scrub out the hatred and suspicion you have held on to, make peace with things that’ll never be and make space for the beautiful things that life has to offer instead.

Scan your thoughts and think of what is it that you want to get rid of this Diwali. And what would you like to bring in. Dare to clear the cobwebs and look forward to new things you’d like to decorate the space with instead. Maybe share one of your blessings with the less fortunate. Try to support someone who's a poor performer at office. He may just get better with your help. Thank the woman in your house who puts your comfort and needs first. Be patient with the elderly in your building who take their own time to go down the stairs. Maybe lead a helping hand. Look eye to eye at someone you haven't spoken to in years. Maybe they are just waiting for you to break the ice.

Or call that long lost friend you always think of. Enrol in that hobby class you thought you’d pursue when you have a job and the money but never found the time after that. Let go of petty grudges you take home everyday. There will be so much less cleaning next Diwali. Like I mentioned, if clearing out clutter and dirt is important to you, do it regularly. In your house and in your mind. Don’t pile it for a year and try to frantically get rid of in one shot.

Try this new form of cleaning this Diwali. Feel the weights lift and your soul unburden itself!

(Thank you Yash Mahadik for the very appropriate word, cobwebs, that just stuck in my mind)

Should our Diwali really be cracker-less?

Photo credit

India is a land of festivals. And yes, i have said this before here and here. In these modern times, new fangled ideas abound everything. Including festivals. Come Ganpati and canvassing for organic Ganpatis starts. Karvachauth arrives and feminists cry out aloud against women having to fast. Come Diwali and there's hue and cry over making it cracker less. For the environment, for the poor kids in Sivakasi and also as a topic to tweet about something! Wishful thinking but there were whispers about a bloodless Eid too.

Fantastic ideas all! But aren't we missing out on something crucial here? Tradition! I am not talking about conventions or orthodoxy. Yes, we need to change traditions to suit our changing lifestyles. But do we have to kill them altogether? Can we not find a midway to meet tradition and practicality?

While we are baying for men's blood because women have to fast for them on Karvachauth and say let's skip the fast and do the rest, aren't we killing the very soul of what the day stands for? I know I have said otherwise elsewhere. But I still mean - keep the tradition alive. Fast or no fast just keep up the spirit bonding and love for each other between a couple.

Organic Ganpatis are great but why did we have to think of it in the first place. Because we believe in overdoing things. Do we have to have a Ganpati in every street corner? Can we not have organic Ganpatis AND have just a few community ones so that we don't have to immerse a few thousand idols every year? The tradition will still stay alive, which to me is more important than every individual showing off his piety with an idol each.

I think what matters the most to me is the cracker less Diwali campaign. No, I am not saying "To hell with the bleeding and burning kids at Sivakasi, go and blow your money on crackers". I am just saying that if you impose a ban on crackers on Diwali, are we not killing a very important part of what the festival is? I don't know what the history behind bursting crackers is and I won't get into it. I just know that my childhood memories of Diwali are incomplete without those smoky, noisy evenings spent bursting crackers with my siblings. I know the fumes are bad, unsafe for animals and no less than torture for the sick and elderly. But till eco-friendly crackers that emit, probably, fragrances rather than noxious fumes are made, we can exercise restraint and just do sufficient enough to keep the tradition alive!

Crackers keep the spirit of Diwali alive! Photo credit

Why I thing this is very important is the rapidly changing times we live in. The world has changed at an unprecedented pace in the last 5 years and is very different now even compared to the last 10 years. The kids born in 2000 are now well into teenage. The world they were born and are growing in is a world apart from our childhood worlds. These kids will never know inlands and postcards. They will never use stamps and post boxes. This generation can't imagine watching TV without the pause and play of Tata Sky plus. They will never know what having just one channel on TV is. And the thrill of waiting all week to watch our favourite programs - He-man or Giant Robot. The fun of bursting crackers for Diwali is something that we should not bereave them of. I know writing letters is obsolete, so that's ok. Television technology has moved and so have gadgets like phones. Let's make peace with it. But burst crackers - even if it a handful of them - for the sake of pure joy and family time that it brings with it. Let the kids of today enjoy what we did in our childhood.

We all are aware of the bad effects and people have drastically cut down on crackers compared to how it used to be! So go ahead and burst a few crackers this Diwali!

Have a Happy and safe Diwali!

Crackers, sweets and lots of fun.....

It’s that time of the year again when we are in the midst of festivals and celebrations. We had just gotten over the excitement of Ganapati immersion and it was time to don our best Garba gear and dance away till the crack of dawn. While we fasted for Navratras, there was the holy month of Ramadan fasting for the muslims and Paryushan Parv for the Jains as ways to uplift themselves spiritually. And no it’s not over yet! Dussehra celebrated the victory of good over evil by burning Ravan effigies and we are anticipating Diwali to mark Lord Ram’s homecoming with his bride for Diwali.

Such is the sweep and richness of the Indian culture that we have occasions to be bursting with festive spirit all through the year. Every festival, no matter which community it belongs to, has its own ancient cultural and mythical significance. And when we look around, we’ll find that we have so much to learn. These festivals usher in a didactic message - All religions are one. Our festivals mostly marry worship with celebration, fasting with feasting, austerity with opulence. The fasting signifies strengthening of the moral fibre and the successful completion of the penance calls for celebration. All, like the others, have a way of worship through penance for your past sins, a way of getting closer to our Creator. The twin themes of worship and celebration runs throughout. The feast of Diwali has Lakshmi Pooja and Raksha Bandhan has a prayer for a brother's long life. Delhities fast during Navratras culminating it with 
Ashtami pooja while Mumbaikars gyrate to dandya songs and worship Garba (the pot with diyas)

We might have our own ways of merry making but food, drink and dressing up are invariably a part of it. The market places are decorated, teeming with activity as people catch up with their shopping. Dandya sticks and Garba garbs, Rakhi for brothers, buntings to decorate the house, diyas to light outside and lots of sweets to gorge on.

The festivities is also a time to catch up with near and dear ones and shore up the ties with them. It is in India that we have so many occasions to be a big large family! An occasion to take time out and spend some quality time with old parents, school friends, brothers, sisters, cousins, grandparents and the neighbourhood who saw you when you were a little kid!!

So go all out and enjoyy!!