Diwali, like anything else, has evolved so much since the time I remember celebrating it as a kid. Oil and cotton wick diyas, laxmi pooja in the evening, sweets from the local shop and crackers bought within budget sums up my childhood Diwali. Nothing fancy! I don't think we even bought new clothes every year as a ritual. The lack of social circle around prevented us from making any comparisons. That's how our Diwali was and that's how it must be done. It was just us and we did what mom told us to do. Dad went out and gave sweets to his friends and not many people came home- that I remember of. We did have crackers to burst - something that I was mostly scared of. The fire, the noise - was enough to scare the coward in me. The fire mainly. And the noise too, come to think of it.
Things changed once I got married. In fact, this year will be 17 years since I celebrate it pretty much on my own. My new home did/does not have any rituals around them and I am the one jumping around about lights, and diyas and sweets - as much as my waist can tolerate! There is nothing that we (all) do/did together. There are no restrictions and I can do what I want. Unfortunately Diwali is as forlorn as a family now as it was in my childhood. We aren't even a family now, just a couple. We don't have guests visiting us or we have any where to go.
But I can see how much the festival of lights has evolved and changed into something very commercial in every aspect. With e-commerce booming in the recent years, any thing that you need is at the click of a button. And brands had to advertise that as a part of the essential Diwali experience so that sales could be boosted.
A lot of it can also be the attributed to the influence of Bollywood as on e-comm. It's a lot more commercial. It's been made fashionable - and an extension of tradition mainly because it is popular culture now. Apparel brands make it sound like it's necessary to buy new clothes for the whole family to stay current and impress your guests.
Buying and gifting jewellery is more an act that brings families together. My mom used to say that the logic behind buying jewellery actually started with buying any kind of metal. People couldn't afford a lot and so they'd buy vessels for home in the name of Dhanteras. How far that tradition has been come along, to mean and symbolise something very different. And people buy jewellery too in the name of staying current with the times. couples in nuclear families forge their own traditions based on these new fangled ways of marking the 5 days of the festival.
Gift giving is a whole different concept. Gone are the days when giving sweets was the right and traditional thing to do. But with changing lifestyles, people don't prefer the cloying sweetness of traditional sweets any more. In fact, even sweets have gone through a transformation beyond recognition. I went to the sweet shop yesterday and the fancy ones needed explanation. The flavours included orange, blueberry, chocolate and dry fruits. I wanted to specify that I was looking for sweets that traditionally look like how they should.
The changing preferences gave different brands, wanting to sell their wares, a chance to turn pretty much anything into a gift hamper. From dry fruits to Italian spices - anything can be made into a collection. Haldiram sweets to gourmet jams and chocolates - anything that says chic and unique. It can be just a few things or a cornucopia of stuff representing samples of everything that the brand sells. We got a coffee hamper a couple of years ago - with a coffee mug to sample the wares.
No one visits us due to a lack of social circle but households that have people dropping in make Diwali pretty interesting by checking out what people chose to bring in. It's almost like opening gifts on one's birthday to see what each box holds. I am sure storing and consuming them is a different challenge altogether but it sure makes it exciting to check every thing out.
I was also thinking about how the actual act of gift giving has changed. Earlier, people had to stack boxes on their scooters or in cars and cover one part of the city each day. 10-15 days before Diwali, this is what people did. Personally visit every one and wish them for Diwali with their choice of sweet box. And when asked for refreshment, the refrain was - humein aur bhi jagah jaana hai - we have other places to go to so we cannot stay for an elaborate tea and conversation session. They'd stick around for as short a duration as social etiquette permits and then be on their way. Wishing your social circle involved literally visiting them.
But now there are services for that kinda thing. Yu can not just bulk order stuff but you can also give your address book to them and they'll address, box and ship it for you, if that's what you want done. There are also courier services who'll come and pick up even one box and deliver it to the address in the same city. What wonderful times we live in!
I have started a couple of my own rituals since we moved to our new place and wanted to make a fresh start. I give sweets to the neighbours even though we are not close. But I guess it's nice to be neighbourly and visit them in my festival finery.
I also made a friend last year, so it's nice to take something for her kids. Sort of my own little social circle ad gift giving ritual. I also hung lights - which is my favourite part of the festival - the lights, not the hanging part (which I do with no help every year and hate it) I also bought some sweets for us yesterday although that is not going to be a favour to my waist or the working out efforts that I have put in recently. But well! Diwali comes once a year and I'd like to make the most of whatever we can while I still can.
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