Tuesday, October 4, 2016

As A Man, I Am Pissed!

Women seem to be at war with men! (Photo credit)
As a man, I am quite pissed. A lot pissed actually. The world seems to be all about women, suddenly. No matter where I look - online or offline - I see this movement of support groups for women to emerge out of their traditional roles and become independent. I know Feminism is about breaking the shackles that bound women and not attack men. But in the popular culture that's what's happening. The support for women is turning out to be just male bashing. From #NoMoreManels to #ShareTheLoad, every campaign seems to be against men, rather than pro women! Let me explain what I mean.  

The first thing that gets my goat is this whole new revolution around talking about periods. As a man, I don't see what the big deal is. It's just that time of the month as far as I am concerned and I stay away from cranky women. But if women want to go ahead and discuss the gory details, I don't mind. But why drag men into it, I say. Every other online chat religiously brings up, "But do men know about periods?" or "Do they bother to find out about what we go through every month?". Excuse me! Women are the ones who hide it like it's a nuclear weapon. It's like the first rule for a girl who gets her periods - Don't tell anyone. Especially men! So how the hell are men supposed to know! And if we read up online and try to support women, they themselves are scandalised by it. How many of you actually tell us that you have cramps or PMS instead of hiding behind the generic - I am unwell - excuse? And if women have just started talking about it all, how the hell will men know about it already? Or have a conversation around something that's so personal to women?

Women want to win any which way! (Photo credit)
Look at the ad campaigns on TV! Every one wants women on their side! #ShareTheLoad! Sure! We never said no! But after being taken care of for 3 decades of my life, do you expect men to change overnight? No one expected me to work around the house and now men are evil because their wives take care of household chores. Trust me! We have tried helping out. But more often than not the women folk at home are afraid we wouldn't be as perfect as them and don't let us do stuff. We don't mind helping around. Give us a chance to get used to it. We may not easily glide into the role of a care taker as women have as bread winners. 

And coming to working women - Fathers or spouses have never had any issues with them working! Has anyone asked us how we feel about it? My job is to earn for the family. And if women have to go through the whole getting back to second careers, it is because men don't have the apparatus to have babies or mammary glands to feed them! Maybe, we would have loved to take a 6 month break and nurture for the young ones! But God knows nature never gave us that chance. Instead we have to leave pieces of our heart at home because we aren't granted leave. And come back to a mess after a hard day at work and help out through the night as best as we can. Because we also love and care. We can't go through it for women, but we do feel the pain! 

Another example of pro-women movement gone anti-men is #NoMoreManels! Doesn't that sound more like banning men than making space for women? We have no problem sharing space with lovely ladies. And it's not our fault that there aren't many around! Similarly the whole debate around changing surnames after marriage. We have never forced you to change your name. It's either been societal norms or your own wish. And if you ask me, I'd happily take the name of my spouse since I love her! And I don't understand how could you claim to love your spouse but hate taking his name! That would endanger your identity as if it's just so fluid! You women are indeed strange beings! 

Have you considered how hard it is for men like me! Some of our travails have thankfully been documented earlier. But it's only becoming harder for us to survive in what's rapidly becoming a pro-women world. Just yesterday I was at the McDonald's with my boy. And this lady ahead of me who was with her daughter took offence because the staff told her that they have only one toy for girls. And she blew her top as if it was a crime! I agree that denying a kid a toy on the basis of gender is very wrong, but the quizzical expression on her little girl's face only showed me the future my boy is going to grow up in. I can see her growing up scoffing at men and demanding her rights even at food counters! 

And for all the trauma inflicted on men through the disruption in women's life, I think women create more problems for women. They judge like men never do! Why don't you work? Why do you sit at home? When will you have kids? Why isn't you're house clean? From cleanliness of the house to the kind of mother/wife you are, women judge everything! Men never do that! We try our best to keep you happy. And we are also trying hard to change ourselves and match up to the surge of women power that's turning our world upside down! 

I have poured my heart out about the few things that came to my mind. Patience, ladies! We are with you! Make us partners instead of opponents! We can conquer the world together! 


  1. while i agree that women's lib is equated to male bashing which is wrong, there are still plenty of feudal males around. That attitude needs to change...

    1. I agree! But I also feel that it's getting a bit all over the place in the urban space. While the attitudes you refer to are in rural India and remain untouched! Just a personal point of view :)

  2. Hehe! This is sort of like the much much much better version than 'Chetan Bhagat' trying to write as a woman, while promoting his own agenda :)
    You make some very valid points - but sadly, there are too many of them men with that old patriarchal mindset too. but yes, feminism has sort of evolved into man bashing most of the times.