Are CBSE results the turning point of your life?

CBSE results 2016 are out! But is this the turning point in your life? (Photo credit)

The CBSE results for this year are out. Girls top again. The wait for the college cut off begins. Another generation of kids is going through the same mixed emotions we went through. Jubilation - for having cleared their exams, maybe with good percentage for some. Apprehension - whether their marks will get them through the cut off of the college they desire. Some kids are the stars with their sterling performance. Some others barely scraped through and are probably facing the wrath of their parents. And some others did not live to find out their results. The stress that our society, parents and the education system puts on scoring well got the better of their will to live.

I have always believed that how you fare in school has little to do with how you turn out in life. Yes, it is important for kids to study well and take their course work seriously. But there is no need to make it an end-of-the-world situation. Because it is not. When I look at this whole results drama and compare it to the times we live in, it comes across as so anachronistic. Times have changed rapidly in the last few years. And yet here we are stuck to the archaic system of marks to give our kids an identity, a sense of success, a boost to their self esteem. I think going through schooling is a part of growing up but not really the only thing kids should focus on through those 15 years.

Coming back to the changing times - I still remember my friend and her spouse talking about their 4 year old boy who was very fond of playing with the pots and pans in her kitchen - "Jo banna chaahe ban jaye. Baal lambe karke rockstar bhi ban jaye chalega. Bas shaadi kare aur ladki se kare tho bahot hai hamare liye!" (He can choose to be whoever he wants to be when he grows up including a rockstar with long locks of hair. We just hope he gets married - and to a girl - and we'll be happy). Such are the awesome times we live in! I feel sad that the education system is still the same as it was when I was in school. That hasn't evolved to address the changing needs of the world. Every student is expected to do well in a set of subjects which are deemed important to learn - for ages now! And this is not fair, if you ask me. I accept that I'm not really clued into the details of extra curricular activities. But I am sure everything finally boils down to how you do in your exams. Class 10 is still the year parents warn their kids about. Only to repeat that in class 12 too! Isn't it more important to help a child find his or her own identity without comparing it to others? And inculcate a value system that will stand by him (or her) through out their lives? And give them the freedom to be who they want to be. Irrespective of what Sharmaji's son/daughter is upto!

So what I'm trying to say is - if it's not already apparent - it's time we loosened up a little. Stop scaring kids about how their life depends on a their ability to mug up a set of subjects randomly chosen for them. And kids, no matter what you scored in your exams, it is not as life altering as people around have you believe. Do your school work well but most importantly, find your passion. Unless you love what you do, you'll never do well. And when you indulge yourself in what you love, the drudgery of school that the society heaps on you wouldn't seem that bad at all! :) So go ahead! Be who you want to be!

The Weekend I Was Compelled To Do Nothing

What is your break time activity? (Photo credit)

How many times do we check our phone in a day? And how many times is that an unconscious, almost a reflex action? Imagine if the very act of looking into the screen and trying to read a message made your head spin that you just had to give up? Sounds funny, right? But that's how I spent the last weekend and a couple of more days - couldn't look at the phone for 2 and limited use for the rest. My laptop lay forgotten for almost 3 days. I suffer from Vertigo usually when I travel to places at an altitude. But since I hadn't done that in the recent past, I was surprised on feeling dizzy. looking back, I recalled that I had it once last year due to lack of proper sleep too. But that also wasn't the case this time. The only think I could pin it down to was the extreme humidity in which I was out for meetings and other work the previous week. And the resulting dehydration.

While I did take it casually when it started on Friday, I had to pay the price for it during the weekend. Browsing on my cellphone - which is usually my all-time, any-where activity wasn't possible. What next? Watch a movie? Manageable but that made me dizzy in a few minutes. All I could do was prop myself on pillows and stare at the ceiling or close my eyes. (Lying down was impossible because of dizziness).

So what happens when we are forced to do nothing? Our mind wanders! And for obvious reasons, my mind started grappling with this unusual, unfamiliar state of doing nothing. Not even idly fiddle with my phone! And I started thinking about the last time I was doing nothing - like this? I couldn't come up with an answer for as long back as I could jog my memory. It's usually the frenzied pace of work - blogging (3 posts a week on some lucky weeks), social media, reading (definitely trying to at least), trainings, meetings, business plans, re-planning of plans that don't work, networking events or the frenetic activities of personal life - laundry, cleaning, cooking, bills, running errands, working out and the biggest part of my life - making to-do lists! I realised how much at ransom I was being held by these lists. I even have some for the weekend - household chores to take care of or errands to run - before manic Monday starts all over again.

With all these thoughts going around in my mind, I realised that when we forget to take breaks, nature ensures that we slow down. It always has a way of telling our body and mind that it's time to restore some balance. I don't think I'd have spent my weekend and a couple of weekdays in bed if I wasn't forced to. I slept like I haven't in a long time. It was the oddest feeling to be napping on a tuesday afternoon! Moral of the story: I think we should just take time off before we get carried away doing more than we can handle and things come to a standstill.

One day in a week when we won't even worry about laundry (chore on my weekend too) or grocery shopping. Set out a day to take care of ourselves. Pause the worries and the never ending list of tasks on our To-dos. My sister used to do this on her weekly off years ago - she'd soak her feet in warm water while applying a face pack. Some times, it used to hair pampering. She'd give herself those few hours away from the frenetic pace of every day life. I think it's a great way to take time out.

A day in a week - maybe most of the weekend - put away my list of tasks and take it easy. Not that I believe in digital detox but being away from the phone would make time for a lot of other things that I enjoy. Catch up with reading, colouring or my puzzle book. Things that I struggle to do on work days. And the guilt of not being able to do it only adds to the stress.

I've made my plans for my break time so that I don't have to take forced time out. Stop for a minute and ponder what is the guilty pleasure you'd like to indulge in on a day away from your usually crazy life. What are things that you'd love to find time for - working out, swimming, catching up with friends, learning an instrument? What is going to be your break time activity? Share it with my in your comments. I'd love to know your favourites. Maybe, I'll find something new to add to my list!

#NaBloPoMo Day 27 - What is your passion?

For the post today, I decided to borrow one of the daily challenge prompts - Do you think it's better to be a recognized expert for one thing, or known to be really good at lots of things? I think being an expert in one thing is important. You may know a lot of other things or have other interests. But there should be one thing that defines you because you are the expert in it. Here's why:

Expertise in one area, for me, is connected to your passion. It could be anything. A sport, movies, music, academia. A lot of us have a profession but our passion lies elsewhere. We are really good at something that's a hobby. And so we know pretty much everything that is there to know about it. If your passion is your profession, you hit jackpot in life. So, I feel it is important to be passionate about at least one thing in life. Knowing that passion gives a lot of energy to keep going in life.

It is important to have one thing you want to be known for. Practically speaking, you need to prove your expertise in one thing to be able to get a job or promote yourself for. If you can do a lot of things well, it is great but might get confusing beyond a point. There has to be one thing that you can do the best. And the other things become transferable skills which bolster your passion.

Being the best in one thing also adds to credibility. I could pursue a lot of hobbies - sing, dance, read, write and play an instrument. But I wouldn't be able to do well in all of them at the same time. There will be one thing I am better at and also love doing. Focus on one (or two at the most) will help me have a command over the skill/subject giving me confidence and credibility in the eyes of others.

What do you think? Have you had many interests which you have pursued successfully? Or you, like me, believe that expertise in one thing is important? Share your thoughts and I'd love to hear them.

Lessons I learnt from Elle Woods

Elle Woods in her colourful glory
Photo credit

When I watched the film Legally Blonde for the first time, I thought it was a stupid film. A silly girl dressed in bright pink joins Harvard out of nowhere. Her funny gait, inane talk, feather pens and pink curtains just don’t fit in with the serious profession of law. But one boring afternoon when I was in the mood for chick flicks, I decided to give it another try. And thank God for it! I kinda liked the film and its sequel and filled many a boring afternoon with it. Doing this made me realise that we dismiss so many things in life in the first look. But on closer look, our perceptions change. And so did my perception of Elle Woods. Here are a few things I derived from it:

Looks are deceptive. Elle Woods with her shocking pink clothes, clicking her stylish heels and carrying a pink laptop in her manicured hands just doesn’t say 'law student'. The colour of her hair doesn’t make things look up for her either. She bemuses everyone as she confidently strides into law college in her unique attire. And it isn’t surprising that people don’t take her seriously. At least initially. How many times do we look at a well dressed person and think competence? How often do we look at a heavily made up woman in skimpy clothes and label her dumb? It’s human nature to jump to conclusions through initial impressions alone. And that’s why we are all so obsessed about how we look and people’s perceptions about us. But many a times we ourselves are pleasantly surprised to discover our initial impressions proves wrong. So why be in a hurry to judge!

Break the mould. Once in a while. A fashion major applying for Harvard Law sounds bizarre. And shooting your Harvard admission video in a bikini sounds downright catastrophic! But Elle Woods proves that as long as you follow your passions with conviction, things can work out. You will need to work towards. Very hard at times. But as long as it makes you happy, it doesn’t always have to be logical. Life is not a series of linear incidents. You are allowed to choose different paths, turn around or head off in the opposite direction. 

Elle in her wedding sandals
Photo credit

People will pull you down. When Elle Woods decides to go Harvard Law school, everyone thinks it’s a stupid idea - her parents, teachers, friends. Even the admission committee is shocked to find an admission video in a bikini! But the conviction she brings to her candidature is commendable. Similarly, there will be no dearth of people telling you how stupid you are being in pursuing your ideas. Fight that prejudice and stick to your path. Your success will shut your detractors up. Better still, people will soon find another target for their naysaying and move on. 

Give a little extra: You can’t be surprised when Elle Woods nonchalantly hands out a pink and perfumed resume for a law internship! It’s Elle Woods!! Be it helping Paulette get her dog back or teaching her the famous ‘bend and snap’, not giving out Brooke’s alibi or lying to get David a date - Elle woods is happy to do that little extra for people around her as long as it makes them happy. We all lead a busy life and perhaps don’t have a lot of time to spare. But if we look around, we can also give that little extra to others. A little time. A little kindness. A little generosity. And that could make a huge difference to someone’s life.

There is always something to learn from everything around us. I am glad I watched this film and it got me to rethink so many common facts of life. Do you have a film that set you thinking? Drop me a line in the comments. I would love to hear all about it. 

This new year, find your true passion!

Photo credit

Siddharth Mehra in Wake up Sid is an easy going, spoilt brat. His father promises a luxury car which gets him to office but he quits in no time. Sid also fails his exams, gets thrown out of home and depends on his friend for his basic needs. He is written off as a failure. His self esteem hits rock bottom because everyone expects him to get into his dad’s super successful business but that's not what he wants to do. And that’s when he discovers something that he loves to do. His passion for photography, which he turns into a profession, becomes a turning point in his life.

Passion - the single most power that sustains life. I believe that it is very important for all of us to be passionate about at least one thing in life. Something that fires you up. Lights up your eyes. Galvanizes you into action. Occupies your empty hours. And makes life worth living. I don’t mean socially accepted success - not excellent grades, high posts, deep pockets or expensive cars. Although I do know people who zap up the latest limited edition Lamborghini to add to their collection! I mean something that you love doing for yourself. And in itself. Something that takes the mind off the mundane buzz of everyday life and helps you escape into your happy place!

Make it a goal to follow your passion this year

It pains me no end when I look at the younger lot of kids who seem to have no real interests in their life. Yes, they have the latest technology and gadgets at their disposal where they can while away endless hours. But those are not things that get a person to explore ones special skills or develop any new ones. It doesn't lead to learning and discovering new facets about oneself. Passions and interests can actually help you push your boundaries and reach new heights. If you love writing, write more and challenge yourself to do better. Is reading your thing? The knowledge of the world is at your feet in the form of books and online resources. Lap all of it up! Does travel appeal to you? Find time and budget destinations to broaden your horizons. The possibilities are endless!

I didn’t know this about myself till a lot of people told me that I am a passionate person. I guess I am enthusiastic about a lot of things in life and express myself with gusto. Hell yeah! What’s life without the fiery, spirited zeal for things that matter to us. When I think about it, I am most passionate about language. I will confess that articulation and good language are such a turn on! (And also something that got me my life partner!) The love of the written word is another passion. I love writing and I love reading well written work. I still believe in the felicity of phrases. And I cringe and mourn the state of language thanks to modern, super fast chatting medium and 140 character limits on expressing ourselves! And surprisingly, training figures third in the list even though I couldn’t live if I had to give up being out there and talking to a class of participants. I think I am the most alive when I stand before people and ensure that their energy levels are as high up as mine! And yeah, there are a whole lot of things that I could launch into fervently but shall spare you this time!

With the new year, it’s a great time to explore your passion. Or go back to it. Look around and find out what excites you the most? What is it that will make you drop everything else? If you already have a passion, give it your time and nurture it. Writing, reading, sports, technology, learning new things, watching movies, doing puzzles, painting, travel - whatever it might be. If it makes you truly happy, you deserve to pursue it. Make sure you have a weekly/monthly date with the true love of your life.

So, what are you passionate about? I’d love to hear from you. Drop a line below!