Saddi Dilli - not so much!!

Delhi is home. That’s the first association that comes to mind. Old friends, college, job and a whole lot of nostalgia about all that and loads of other things. It’s like going back in time and living a slice of life then. Trips to Delhi are as much about catching up with the family in the present as it is about walking through the streets of nostalgia. The drive out of the airport is so non-bumpy (in contrast to Mumbai) that i am beaming with happiness already. Taking in the broad roads, swanky infrastructure and the familiar landscape is so “wow, i’m home” feeling! What adds to the feeling is being cautious and suspicious as you should be in Delhi! In fact instructions to come home from the airport begin with ‘carefully’!!

Eating rajma chawal and kadhi chawal. Yum! Snatches of conversation in typical dilliwali hindi in the metro train. A smile and the thought “it’s been so long since i heard that!!” are instant. The aunties dressed over the top. The college dudes imported from Bihar trying to look cool with micromax or nokia headphones in their ears. The common man ogling at women because he is just that - a man! (i notice that and realise this is so common here, unlike Mumbai). Cycle rickshaws. But now I feel pity for them peddling away in the heat!

Friends. Real people i spent time and shared life with. Lots of them that i don’t end up meeting most in one single trip. (there’s just little me and the time-space continuum is too large to cover in a few days i am there!!) i meet some and leave the rest for the next time, whenever that would be!

Taking the old metro route that i used to for office. A visit to Connaught Place to meet a friend and my feet automatically move into my old office- which is changed beyond recognition and the old people gone. But still it’s special for being a place i spent a few years of my life! The feelings are so strong that I have to go round the inner circle (of CP) despite the heat.

Ironically, i also feel like a tourist especially when it comes to the expansive metro routes. i find myself consulting maps at stations because the routes run into each other and meet at multiple points. Also, it is important to pay attention to what i wear. i can’t forget that in saddi dilli it’s the clothes you wear, the car you drive and the size of your house among other things. Trying to get the first one right itself seems taxing, thank god i don’t have to bother about the other two at least!

But a few days into the trip and i miss the familiarity and comfort of my routine life. Music is not playing in the background as it usually is. I can’t watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S at will because I am busy doing other stuff. Internet is not free flow and i am struggling with the internet dongle! (tho there is wireless there too). And there are so many people around in the house including kids running around. Sometimes I don’t belong there. Not like home!

And then it hits me - Mumbai is home! Like Delhi will never be. The comfort zone. The music playing in the background. My own time with my laptop. Just me to decide when to do stuff. The comfort of sleeping in my own bed. The non-pretentious daily life where there are more important things to worry about than what the neighbor wears or drives to work. The feeling of being safe at any time of the night! (My friend in Delhi was worried about me having to travel back home at 7.30pm!!!) Even my body language changes as i wait outside the airport waiting for my taxi! I am home!!

Interestingly, there were a couple of cultural shocks too. The size of Delhi homes, though i have lived in one for more than a decade! Guess the longer you live in one place, the farther you move away from where you lived before. i am all for big houses and lots of space, which i still miss but actually being them feels like ‘whoa! that’s like space for 4 houses in Mumbai! A visit to my niece’s school for her PTM was ample exposure to dilli culture. Again, i felt something odd about most moms arriving dressed to flaunt!! “Rapchick Moms”!! It didn’t seem like a formal meeting with the teachers at school about how their kids were doing. Because that’s how i look at it. For them it’s an occasion where other parents will be there, right! So time to flex some high class muscles!

Though the cultures are so opposite to each other, Delhi and Mumbai will be homes to me! i don't see the point in the debate of it being difficult to live in one of these cities having lived in the other!!

Thanks, Sis!

Kids have such amazing stress bursting properties which nothing in the world has. No, i am not treating them as objects but it's just that they really work the best! Though it is true that kids themselves can be the cause of a whole lot of stress and constant responsibility. For me, it's difficult to choose between the reward of one beautiful smile or one innocent look or the stress of having to deal with them 24/7!

But thank God there are siblings!! Being an aunt is so much better than having your own kids. It's like you are on a vacation with cute little things who you can pamper to the hilt to become their favorites. But at the same time you know that you will be able to return to your life of peace and quiet soon! This bond is extra special to me because my little niece's arrival smashed my record of being the youngest in the family for over 2 decades. i felt so grown up holding her in my arms (even before her parents did- the fact that i still proudly proclaim!) since i had no baby siblings i remember my parents bringing home! Almost 6 years and another little niece later, i feel like a pro at being an aunt.

By the time the next little one appeared 3 years later (who i feel a lot closer to since i was more involved with her since her birth), being a 'maasi' was a given. She's always been a baby for me and honestly, it broke my heart to see her don her new uniform and go to school with her pink bag! Is she old enough already? was my first shocking reaction!

i have kids who are happier to see me and find respite from their parental regime. They know they can get an extra chocolate here and watch a little more cartoon there! (They now know that maasi's laptop has a whole lot of Tom and Jerry cartoons which can be played at will without mum's permission! Just an innocent entreating look at maasi and it works!!). And it is this pampering bit which is the best part!

i have also become more experienced since i know what will get them to do what i want. Kids sure are smarter than we give them credit for. The older one is still the docile angel she has always been but the younger one came as a surprise package. She has a will of her own and really knows how to get what she wants. It doesn't make either of them any less endearing.

It is difficult to imagine what my life would be without this beautiful part in it! Thanks mom, for sis! And thanks sis, for these angels!!

Press @^$#%* for assistance

Welcome to Crappy Customer Service Ltd! If you are a moron, press 1; if you are a moron who thinks u r intelligent, press 2; if this menu makes no sense, press 3 (Customer: Snoring....), If you regret calling us, press 4 .....if you thought you wud get prompt response, press 7, to go back to the previous menu press 8, to talk to our customer care exekutive, press 9, (Customer: Snoring....) - Sorry, we have not received your input, your call is being transferred to our customer care representatives. This call may be recorded for internal training and quality purposes (Customer: Snoring)

Helpful Exekutive: "Hello, welcome to Crappy Customer Service Ltd, My name is Parthasarathy. I am glad to take your call this morning, how can I help you?.... Hello? ....Hellow?

Customer (with a start): Oh...so you are here finally!

Helpful Exekutive: Hello, welcome to Crappy Customer Service Ltd, My name is Parthasarathy. I am glad to take your call this morning, how can I help you?

Customer (groggy): Hmmm, let me see how you can help.... what company did u say you are?

Helpful Exekutive: Hello, welcome to Crappy Customer Service Ltd, My name is Parthasarathy. I am glad to take your call this morning, how can I help you?

Customer: Oh! Yeah! I just wanted to know an additional entry in the statement for this month.

Helpful Exekutive: May I know your Customer Identification Number Sir?

Enter

Helpful Exekutive: Can you please enter your Telephone Identification Number, Sir?

Enter

Helpful Exekutive: Thank you very much sir. Do I have your permission to put your call on hold while I retrieve the data sir?

Customer (dozing off again): Huh-uh

Music, sounding like lullaby

Helpful Exekutive: Thanks for your patience, Mr. Sleepyhead. For verification purposes, can I know your address?

Customer: Prem Gali, Kholi number 420

Helpful Exekutive: Can you also help me with your date of birth?

Customer: Sometime in the last century

Helpful Exekutive: Thanks for the information Mr. Sleepyhead! Are you an authorised signatory on this account?

Customer: No, this account belongs to my wife and I just want to know about one entry in the statement.

Helpful Exekutive: Sorry sir, we cannot provide information to only the authorised signatory.

Customer: But she is out of town and I need to know this

Helpful Exekutive: Sorry sir, our process doesn't permit us to do it.

Customer: (Disappointed): Alright

Helpful Exekutive: Thank you for calling Crappy Customer Service Ltd. It was a pleasure talking to you sir. Hope you have a great....beep....beep.....

Malloholic.....

To me, there’s something truly enchanting about stepping into a mall. It could be the 4th time in a week at the same mall. Still, my heart jumps with the same joy each time. Of course, the free air conditioning makes it a welcome option in a humid place like Mumbai. The sprawling space with rows of showrooms waiting to be explored gives me a real kick. There is an uncanny charm about brand new things i don’t intend to buy but am happy to just look at. i might have looked at the same windows before but there’s so much in store that i’ll never be bored even if i were to pass the same floor a hundredth time.

What i like best about malls is that they can be just as calm as the sea during low tide, on weekdays. So those are the days (i’ve had the luxury of haunting them on a lot of weekdays) when you can stroll along the deserted corridors and get to choose your table in the food court. But i am more excited and look forward to making my way to my favourite haunt on weekends. Bustling, noisy and energetic, malls have almost a festive look on weekends. It’s like a celebration for no reason every week. i love to become one with the crowds and lose myself in the throng. Its futile to expect any vacant chairs in the food court but it's this swarm that truly portrays the defining spirit of our times. The zeitgeist is evident in the masses that have learnt to enjoy life irrespective of whether they can afford the brands showcased at the mall.

Malls represent the transformation of family time for the middle-class. Its no longer the occasional eat-out and a movie. A weekly trip to the plush mall and pop-corns while sauntering around is very much a possibility. Budget-friendly and comfortable. It is also heartening to see that the older generation also is game for trying out different cuisines. i find a lot of parents and grandparents sitting in restaurants along with the younger lot trying out pastas and burgers. The mall-culture has caught on fast and caught on for good.

The next time you step into a mall, take a moment to feel the gush of human energy that’s palpable around. For me, i shall soon be the first member in the new category of people called malloholics!!

Views, not news

It’s a beautiful sunny morning. i settle down with my morning cuppa and pick up the newspapers to glance through them. This is probably my 259th attempt at making a habit of reading the newspapers. After all i’ve woken up every morning of my life with my dad sitting with his paper and morning tea and now my spouse is no different (except that he likes coffee).

A little background to the failed attempts. For one, newspapers aren’t an ideal size for comfortable reading. There are too big to fit into my lap so i can’t snuggle in my sofa and read them. i have to stretch my arms wide or resort to the dining table. (silly reason but i shall please myself) Also, i’ve somehow not been happy with the idea of starting the day with newspapers. (guess there are 2 ways to react to things that you see since childhood - you take it as a way of life or reject it as a way of life!) Wouldn’t there be a better way to start the day than to bolt for the newspaper after a cursory nod for a good morning? Maybe with a cheerful good morning to others in the family and catching up with them before moving on with the day with positive vibes from our loved ones ? i've had my parents lecture me all my life about how good a habit it is to read newspapers. And like everything else that is imposed, I dislike the idea. (Who loves to do things that parents' lectures insist are important for survival in life!)

Back to my beautiful morning. i look at the front page and the headlines scream at me about some scam a respected politician is found to be involved in. Sighing wistfully, i move to the bottom of the page only to be told that a 12 yr old girl was being repeated raped by her cousin and 9 others for over 2 yrs. Horrified, i move on to page 2 and read that the city lost millions of litres of water because a couple of pipes burst in the city and the administration had not yet taken any action about it. i am, by now, done with yet another attempt of being among newspapers readers in the morning.

There is something about news that is repulsive to me. It's no longer what it used to be or what it's supposed to be. The story isn’t any different on television - for instance when hubby darling wants to catch up with news during dinner. The stories on the idiot box can put any Ramu thriller to shame! As if it’s not gory enough that an 11-day old infant is stoned to death in Kashmir, the story begins with special effects with shots of a mob on half of the screen and an innocent child on the second half. Is it one against the other? Can’t we just report it as it happened? Do we need to be shown repeated shots of mobs pelting stones and the mother in tears? Repeated shots of a minister kicking a party worker while the bloodied man lies helpless on the floor is another case in point. Am done with my dinner already!!

Coming back to newspapers, i guess they were a nice way to start the day in yesteryears when news was reported and not written to entertain, scandalise or shock. Reporters didn’t go nosing around to find newsworthy items. They had enough sensible stuff that a common man would want to know. There weren’t too many supplements to fill and crime wasn’t the daal-roti of news presenters. News items had credibility and the writing, a sense of style. Newspapers were just that and not a magazine that cover a variety of topics to ensure broadest readership with no depth.

As for me, i am very happy banking on my spouse, who is a regular, for my occasional dose of "The world at 8!". And i am thrilled whenever i hear him say, "it's there in the papers today". i know i have the newspaper intelligence in my life without having to read it!!

Quick trip down the memory lane....

When was the last time you looked up for a word meaning in the dictionary? You can take a minute to recall. Honestly, i don’t remember my last time!

i just finished reading a fantastic book on the craft of writing by William Zinsser. One of the important things, William says, a writer should do is to frequently dip into a thesaurus to find the exact word for a given context. i brought out my thesaurus to look up a word. And this is where my musing over the charm of the old world began. It was truly nostalgic to turn pages of a huge volume of Roget’s thesaurus and chant alphabets in my mind while looking up a word!

Wow! This is how i’ve looked up words all my life. i didn’t even realise when this wonderful habit of school days was replaced by online dictionary and thesaurus. It’s so convenient to google a word and look at the limited meanings a website chooses to throw up. For me, it’s simply ‘right click’ and ‘look up word in dictionary’ from the set of options that show up on my Mac. It suffices for the current need and i move on with my writing. The transition from holding words in my hands to mechanically hacking away at the keyboard, just because it is quick, seems to be so seamless.

i guess it’s the same with reading. We have become prolific online readers. Carrying a book is passé. Welcome wi-fi-enabled cellphones, ipods and other devices equipped to let you read any topic under the sun on the world wide web. The latest - Online Library - will ensure that the next generation gets to see libraries only in museums! Thankfully, online reading isn’t very appealing to me. i can’t spend hours online wading through the tangle of links. i still miss my books and go back to them often. In fact, feel guilty that i don’t read regularly enough.

i don’t think i need to even invoke personal touch of the snail mail lest i get carried away too far and you guys decide to bypass my memory lane. Though it does seem incredible now to think of having written reams to my best friend in college days. Hah! Just pick up the phone today and talk to her wherever she is! Simple! From entertainment to academics to business, technology has pervaded all!

Technology is great but are we losing the fun and innocence of the old world? Is it so difficult to occasionally tune the radio to our favourite channel? (I don’t mean the FM in your mobile phone, silly!) Or just log out of the websites, switch off your laptop and go talk to your neighbour. At least find out who lives next door. Pullout snake and ladder and roll the dice.

Or just look up the dictionary!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. - More thoughts

i am on Season 7 and overcame my addiction for the sitcom long back. It’s still dumb and funny. “What next?” has kept me glued to the program. i have a better understanding of the characters and so i know Joey is dumb but not sensible, as i thought earlier. The others are pretty much the same.

Though shocked initially, i’ve digested that Monika got together with Chandler, my least favourite. It feels, to me, as if it was a move out of desperation to induce some change in the equation between the friends. The stories of other friends is not parallel for sure since none of the others is any closer to finding their mate. Why only Monika and Chandler? Weren’t there any other combinations to explore, i wonder?

i am also a little surprised at the flatness of the characters. There isn’t any development that they seem to have gone through. Guys still lusting after boobs and gals still drooling over men. i thought it would have been great for the characters to evolve along with their audience over the decade that it was aired. Or for the story to lead to some substance in it.

i was thinking about how appropriate the serial must have been for the Indian viewers back in the 90’s. i have lost count of the number of times people mentioned ‘sex’ and the deluge of sexual innuendos throughout the series. i consider it inappropriate for my kids to watch till they are old enough to understand the suggestive remarks and are capable of handling the innuendos. i might sound like i am going to be an old-fashioned mom but as much as i know about bringing up kids, things have not changed one bit. i don't think i would have enjoyed it as much as i do now, 15 years ago. The fun is in being one with the characters and enjoy the quips and puns.

Wishful thinking, the last one but i can go back to enjoying it since i can handle it!!