Day 4: Flashback - Trip to the Grand Canyon

My man looking out at the Grand Canyon from the Skywalk!

Some trips are quite memorable but this one takes the cake. The mighty Grand Canyon is definitely worth a visit once in a lifetime. Grand Canyon is a natural gorge carved by the Colarado river and you can read more about how it happened on the Wikipedia page. What I really want to talk about is the personal experience of actually being there.

The Grand canyon was one of the places we visited during our US trip this March. Las Vegas is the closest to drive to the Grand Canyon and that became the starting point of this leg of the journey. Since this was our second time in Las Vegas, we just took it easy and did not do the touristy shows or the slot machines. In fact, sitting in our room at the Bellagio and watching the fountains dance from our room every evening was a good enough treat.

The room with an awesome view!

The drive to the Canyon is a breeze except that if you are running late, like we were, you also lose another hour going from Nevada to Arizona due to the time difference. But we did make it in time to get on to the last tour on the bus that left in a bit. And where it took us has to be the most spectacular site nature ever holds. Miles of orange rocks that run deep and scary! Man has conquered mountains but being amidst something like this definitely makes one feel diminutive and insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

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And the most amazing thing is the man made sky walk at an elevation  of 4770 ft that juts right into the Canyon. And what's even more goosebumpy is that the floor of the skywalk is made of glass. So when you look down, it's like being suspended on nothing! It took some coaxing from the resident photographer - no cameras/cellphones allowed on this ramp and I think that's a great decision for safety reasons - for me to walk in and pose. I never looked down once! Peeping from the safety of the locker room was enough to make my heart skip a beat!

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Putting the skywalk into better perspective

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More photos from the trip

My man right on top of one of the hillocks. I'm too scared of heights to do it!

A shot of the Colorado river from the plane 

Another shot of the Grand Canyon with the river

That me, obviously! :)

The skywalk is suspended right into the Canyon and the photographer has his favourite poses! 

 We also went to New York, Hoover Dam and Disneyland in Orlando. But those are probably for another blog post some other time. Have you been on to a place that really blew your mind off? I'd love to add them to my travel list! Shoot!

This post is a part of #NaBloPoMo hosted by BlogHer where I will write one post everyday this month.

Day 3: How Many Books Have You Read This Year?

Getting lost in the sea of books! (Photo credit)

I Love reading. I can't be called a prolific reader - definitely not after I found some people on Twitter who have already finished 200 books this year! Having been a literature student for 5 years, I have had my fill of Shakespeare and Shelley, Dante and Dickens. I have also loved reading my share of awesome fiction like Gone with the wind and Shantaram. Or non-fiction books like Emotional Intelligence by Goleman or the Malcolm Gladwell books. Such books give a unique insight into the working of human mind and I find them quite insightful.

Since I belong to the transitional generation that moved from physical books to ebooks, I have seen both the worlds. I still read books in both medium. All the reading through college days, of course, was from a stack of physical books. It was like a full time job to finish novels and poetry texts so that I could start with the criticism of those books and prepare for exams. I read physical books pretty much through the entire last decade. I moved to Kindle a few years ago yet don't really enjoy the experience of reading ebooks. They are great to keep reading on the go and that's the only reason I have the app. I also have this habit of noting down names of books from bibliographies mentioned in other books. I noted down a dozen titles while doing a course on social psychology from Coursera about 4 years ago - never went on buy and read any of those though.

Reading has always been a big part of my life. Reading is to forget the world. You can't think of anything else while you are reading, right? While online exposure on Twitter helped me learn about new books - some of which I read or added to my list from bibiliographies - it has also added some sense of anxiety to my reading. While I have stopped looking at any must read books lists - except for occasional slips - there are times when some one mentions a title as a must read and I can't help but add it to what has now become a list of books-I-might-read-in-this-lifetime. And the ever growing list evokes this fear of - Oh my God! I'm never going to be able to finish reading ALL this! And the knowledge that some mortals have actually finished 200 books makes me feel like I have read about 4 books in my life! Even when I read a book, I feel a strange sense of anxiety to finish it fast and move on.

While I realise that I will never be able to read 200 books in a year, I definitely am working on this knot that forms in the pit of my stomach every time I start reading. I have started reasoning with that voice in my head which ushers in a sense of urgency every time I sit to read a book. For me, it's not a competition about reading as many books as the next person has. It's more about missing out on so much more there is to read. But then it isn't possible to read all books published ever, (Or is there?!) even if you stick to a few favourite genres. Plus, I think it also depends on the kind of books I read. Fiction gets done faster. But I also want to read thick fat books without worrying about how long it takes.

At the moment, I have enough books to last this year from my Amazon sale loot in August this year. I have already read a fair number of books from different genres this year and I am happy with it. Plus there is online reading where we get to learn so much.

How do you get your reading done? Are books obsolete yet with all the blogs and online content?

This post is a part of #NaBloPoMo hosted by BlogHer where I will write one post everyday this month.

Day 2: When was the last time you did something brave?

Being brave is letting go and taking the plunge! (Photo credit)

For today's post, I decided to use the official prompt for the challenge - when was the last time I did something brave? Hmm... I think bravery at a personal level is a subjective term. Unless it's universally accepted brave deeds like saving a baby from a tiger or jumping out of a burning building. In the subjective sense, stepping out of the house for a conservative woman is brave. Finally finding the courage to ask your crush out is brave. Or a child learning to walk despite all the falls is brave. Yes, it is. Just that the baby just doesn't know it!

So one thing is for sure - being brave involves doing something we haven't done ever. It is definitely stepping out of our comfort zone. It is like being exposed and naked in your actions - probably for everyone to see. Although, it could also be a private moment of pushing our own boundaries. I also feel that the definition of bravery has changed in the recent times. It is ok to tread the path less taken and be a pioneer of new thoughts. It is also a great time for women to be brave. There are a whole lot of initiatives helping us untie the knots of stereotypes and step out of patriarchal boundaries. And believe me, there is no dearth of conventions we are supposed to follow as women. From what we wear to how we behave - there's a judging glance everywhere if we step out of line.

I don't think being brave would have made any sense to me even a few years ago. I am surprisingly a conformist - although some may find this surprising about me - and have always followed rules, kept up with deadlines. So sometimes even a slight deviation feels like being brave. Having lived in the unsafe capital of India, Delhi, it still feels brave to be out after 8 or 9 pm even in Mumbai. It's just that the timelines of being back home are so strongly ingrained that it still feels odd to stay out late by myself. It sounds crazy but the mind is a strange thing and sometimes you just can't beat it!

This post required a bit of bravery to write since there are only a handful brave things I have done in my life. Talking about them seems quite personal. Giving up the comfort of a 9-5 job was itself a brave step for me. After training corporates for 6 years as a freelancer, starting my own company was a brave thing to do - since it took months of time and effort to build my online presence. I could never go back to functioning like an individual trainer who accepted whatever came my way. I had to be the agency that initiated action and have an identity of what I do!

The first blogging workshop - Blog Like Suman - in Mumbai

But the most recent thing that I have picked up is about a year old - yes, that's recent! I started a series of workshops on blogging for beginners last December. It was on a whim since I wanted to do something before the year ran out. There was enough talk on social media about what I do, it was time for some action. I wanted Soft Skills Studio to be seen doing what I claimed I was good at - train people. I picked up blogging since that has always been a passion and I learnt so much when I set up my work blog in 2014. (Unlike simpler times in 2009 when this blog was set up) I wanted to share all those insights with people. It wasn't a run away success the first time. Or the second time. I incurred the expenses for most workshops since the participation wasn't even enough to cover the costs. But I kept at it and the 4th workshop this year finally turned the tables and yielded a positive margin for the business.

The most recent one in October which saw women in full force!

Through the years I have learnt that you can try and might fail. But if you don't try, you'll definitely fail. I know that this sounds quite cliche. But I don't think I'd have achieved anything, learnt all the valuable lessons and felt confident for the future if I hadn't taken that plunge. Being brave may not benefit all the time but it definitely keeps our adventurous spirit going. And that's what is important.

Have you done something brave lately? I'd love to hear about them to reassure myself that I wasn't the only one attempting things that seemed so stupid at that time. I'm waiting to hear from you.

This post is a part of #NaBloPoMo hosted by BlogHer where I will write one post everyday this month.

Day 1: Why Are Indians Unfriendly?

This family from England saw me sitting by myself for my meal and invited me to join them

Probably not a great topic for Day 1 of the blogging challenge. But I have decided to dip into my ideas bank and this is it for today! :) This post is based on an experience during my solo travel to Chokhi Dhani earlier this year. A solo trip is unique in a lot of ways since there's no one to take your4 pictures or share your thoughts with. It's all about being with yourself and soaking in the experience.

While I was going around the village, a group - of what seemed like 2 newly-wed couples - approached me with a canon camera and requested me to take a picture. Selfies, of course, aren't possible, on traditional cameras. They wanted the grand entrance to the shopping area in the frame of the picture. I did the needful and we went our separate ways.

After I had gone around the village, I went to the restaurant I had chosen for dinner. It was a traditional, sit-down fare with tons of food. It did feel a little odd for me to be sitting on my own - more so since I seemed to have arrived quite early and was the only one in the restaurant at that time. Thankfully, in another few minutes, more people started to arrive. And who do I see - the same couples I clicked photos for 30 minutes ago. Now, when you are alone and feeling odd about it, there is no bigger relief than to see familiar faces. But I was soon disappointed since far from even acknowledging me with a nod, they took their seats in the row opposite to me like they had never seen me before.

Next to arrive was this family, evidently from their looks and accent, from a different country. They took the seats in the far corner to my right. I was just being served the accompaniments to main meal while everyone arrived. A minute or two later, the younger girl from the family came down to me and asked me if i'd like to join them for dinner. It was so nice to be able to join a group and have someone to talk to. I came to know that the family lived in England and the father had traveled quite a bit to Mumbai on work - information that came out when I told them that I lived in Mumbai. The wonderful company did add to the great experience of the sumptuous meal.

We walked out together and when I thought we'd go our ways, we started talking about this and that. The village had bonfires everywhere by then since this was january and almost 10pm. The girl and I sat next to a bonfire and got talking. The parents went for a walk on their own. I wonder even today what made her open up to me - a stranger - about her fears and dreams. She was just 22 and was back to living with her parents after college trying to decide what to do next. She wondered how she'd know if the right guy came into her life. Or whether she should trust her parents to find her someone. I told her my story of getting married to someone outside my community - not knowing if that'd help resolve her dilemmas. She changed the topic just as her parents came back from their walk, obviously not wanting them to know that she had been discussing personal stuff with a stranger. Maybe.

I am surprised at the clarity with which I still remember the whole incident. I think the fact that some strangers were nice enough to invite me over to share a meal was quite touching. In stark contrast to the behaviour of people I had just spoken to and yet cold shouldered by. That set me thinking. Indians aren't the most friendly people. You may find this view quite contradictory to what I hate about the US. But I guess our lack of basic courtesy is glaring compared to people of some other countries who'll wave a hello to strangers in an elevator. I used to find this quite amusing when I started traveling abroad and had people smile at me or wish me good morning just in a hotel lobby!

I am very aware that we are not a socially adept country. We, among other things, stare, we ask probing questions, we don't respect time, we litter and have issues following even a simple concepts like queues and traffic rules. We are not very trusting of others and so not very friendly either. If someone offers us help, we just assume there is a catch. And that's reasonable since we are too many people jostling for limited space and opportunities. And it is not possible for us to transform ourselves over night. But I think if there is one thing we can start with is to be more courteous to people around us. And a great start would be to smile at people. And I am saying this from personal experience. I can't remember the number of times I've had people stare at me rudely at supermarket lines, waiting to cross the road or just at a queue in the mall. Would it be too much to just smile since we belong to the same species and currently co-inhabit the same space? I have seen employees of cafes smile back at me because I smiled first. And I think that is the least we could do for the service we receive (or even not receive at times). Cliched but true - a smile is most certainly a crooked line that can set a lot of things straight.

What do you think? Have you had similar experiences with people in our country or abroad? I'd love to hear your views on this post. Waiting for your comments!

This post is a part of #NaBloPoMo hosted by BlogHer where I will write one post everyday this month.

Solo Trip To Chokhi Dhani

When a post on a trip made earlier this year takes so long to appear on the blog, it has clearly been a bad year for blogging. The bigger challenge in writing this post was the photos. I'm not exactly a photo friendly person and find it quite daunting to transfer, organise and upload photos to make a decent post out of it. I have been working on this post - one step at a time - to put this together. 

I have been out traveling by myself on work. But this trip is special since it was planned solely for fun/leisure with no work involved. I was in Delhi earlier this year for a coaching conference and decided to give Chokhi Dhani a try since it is close by and was unexplored. After almost missing my flight, thanks to the Delhi traffic, I made it. Since it was off season, I was bumped to some royal suite. And as you can see, I was the queen of the space for a night. It's soaked in tradition in every element around - not just the room but read on to see where else. 

The suite at Chokhi Dhani - traditional with modern amenities

The view from the room

The attraction is the village built around the concept of local, traditional life in Rajasthan. Low mud houses and figurines of local people doing different tasks are made around the resort. 

Life size figurines depicting everyday life at Chokhi Dhani

The actual village that opens at about 6pm and goes on till 11pm. There are traditional dancers and musicians, puppet show, games, acrobatics, shopping arcade (called Kalagram), restaurants among other things. 

Feeble attempts with my iPhone in the dim light 

The paintings strewn across the campus only serve to keep the art form alive. I am told that all of them are hand painted. 

In one of the huts in the village, an old lady was actually cooking bajre ka roti on an old style chulha and giving in leaf bowls with garlic chutney and a little jaggery with the roti literally dipped in ghee! It felt like a mother feeding her kids with the same love that probably families shared before they went nuclear. A couple of people just sat there and asked for more! The taste was truly divine! Fresh and hot!

There are so many pictures from the trip that brings back lovely memories!

Paintings on the walls

Mud huts that double as guest rooms

I think such places are really great and should be patronised. In the ever changing world where western influences and modern conveniences are taking over our live rapidly, Chokhi Dhani preserves the world of tradition. It is a must visit at least once. Going around the village, watching so many traditional dance forms, listening to traditional music and the man made mud huts felt like living a slice of life the way local people live. 

Are there perfect gym clothes?

Although this is how popular culture portrays women look in a gym, the reality is quite different. (Photo credit)

My first experience buying gym clothes was around 2008 when I moved to Mumbai. I learnt that working out is a common thing in the city. Delhi, where I lived before this, does not have a gym at every corner and I had never imagined I'd ever be going to one in my life. But when I started gaining weight a few months into my marriage - well! everyone does! - I decided I should join a gym. And since my spouse worked out for a decade since college and still has the evidence of it, he was my best guide. (Although by the time we got married, he had started traveling quite a bit and his gym membership was more of a donation to the facility without actually using it)

I remember going to Shoppers Stop near my place and buying clothes, shoes etc. While working out in the gym - and a couple others after the first one - turned out to be one of the most boring things I have done in my life. I also went through more rounds of shopping for gym clothes. I gave up typical gyms a few years ago and now I workout at this awesome fitness place that has a new workout every day to keep the challenge going.

And no, no one on our class looks remotely like the people you see on Yoga CDs or even Monica Geller who worked out in her stylish training bra and a jacket! The place I workout in isn't exactly for spandex covered, tank topped chicks. It's a normal people, unisex studio and where butt covering modesty is preferred. We are all seen in long, boring T shirts and on most days half of us are in grey. And that's exactly what set me thinking. And also the fact that despite multiple rounds of shopping and trying to learn from previous mistakes, I still don't think I have the perfect clothes, let alone remotely stylish.

I've had all kinds of gym clothes. From loose T shirts to the right size. And in all kinds of fabrics. And during my last trip for gym shopping, I realised there is so much of technology out there now in terms of fabrics that promise to be soak up sweat in an intense workout. (sorry if 'soak' reminds you something else. Couldn't make this sound any better). Not wanting to waste a lot of time window shopping, I went to the website of the mall to find out where all the gym stores are. Thankfully, they happened to be on the same floor. Armed with my list of places, I stepped out.

To cut the long story short, the bigger the brand name, the more expensive their stuff. I did end up buying a super expensive T shirt which is meant to be great for workouts. When I actually wore it to fitness class, it was shorter than I'd like it to be. I'm not happy when I raise my hands up or do side bends - so much for big brands! Another brand had the most funky looking but equally uncomfortable range of training bras - no, the price tag did not seem to factor in the discomfort. I strongly recommend that these big brands run a survey and actually ask women what we find comfortable and actually want in out work out clothes.

I finally went to a quite popular brand and brought all my stuff for the price of that one T shirt! I am good to go till my next round of experimenting to get it comfort and maybe style too. Do you think gym wear for women can be comfortable and fashionable? Going through all the brands that promise both hasn't been encouraging for me. I'd love to hear what you think about this.

As A Man, I Am Pissed!

Women seem to be at war with men! (Photo credit)

As a man, I am quite pissed. A lot pissed actually. The world seems to be all about women, suddenly. No matter where I look - online or offline - I see this movement of support groups for women to emerge out of their traditional roles and become independent. I know Feminism is about breaking the shackles that bound women and not attack men. But in the popular culture that's what's happening. The support for women is turning out to be just male bashing. From #NoMoreManels to #ShareTheLoad, every campaign seems to be against men, rather than pro women! Let me explain what I mean.  

The first thing that gets my goat is this whole new revolution around talking about periods. As a man, I don't see what the big deal is. It's just that time of the month as far as I am concerned and I stay away from cranky women. But if women want to go ahead and discuss the gory details, I don't mind. But why drag men into it, I say. Every other online chat religiously brings up, "But do men know about periods?" or "Do they bother to find out about what we go through every month?". Excuse me! Women are the ones who hide it like it's a nuclear weapon. It's like the first rule for a girl who gets her periods - Don't tell anyone. Especially men! So how the hell are men supposed to know! And if we read up online and try to support women, they themselves are scandalised by it. How many of you actually tell us that you have cramps or PMS instead of hiding behind the generic - I am unwell - excuse? And if women have just started talking about it all, how the hell will men know about it already? Or have a conversation around something that's so personal to women?

Women want to win any which way! (Photo credit)

Look at the ad campaigns on TV! Every one wants women on their side! #ShareTheLoad! Sure! We never said no! But after being taken care of for 3 decades of my life, do you expect men to change overnight? No one expected me to work around the house and now men are evil because their wives take care of household chores. Trust me! We have tried helping out. But more often than not the women folk at home are afraid we wouldn't be as perfect as them and don't let us do stuff. We don't mind helping around. Give us a chance to get used to it. We may not easily glide into the role of a care taker as women have as bread winners. 

And coming to working women - Fathers or spouses have never had any issues with them working! Has anyone asked us how we feel about it? My job is to earn for the family. And if women have to go through the whole getting back to second careers, it is because men don't have the apparatus to have babies or mammary glands to feed them! Maybe, we would have loved to take a 6 month break and nurture for the young ones! But God knows nature never gave us that chance. Instead we have to leave pieces of our heart at home because we aren't granted leave. And come back to a mess after a hard day at work and help out through the night as best as we can. Because we also love and care. We can't go through it for women, but we do feel the pain! 

Another example of pro-women movement gone anti-men is #NoMoreManels! Doesn't that sound more like banning men than making space for women? We have no problem sharing space with lovely ladies. And it's not our fault that there aren't many around! Similarly the whole debate around changing surnames after marriage. We have never forced you to change your name. It's either been societal norms or your own wish. And if you ask me, I'd happily take the name of my spouse since I love her! And I don't understand how could you claim to love your spouse but hate taking his name! That would endanger your identity as if it's just so fluid! You women are indeed strange beings! 

Have you considered how hard it is for men like me! Some of our travails have thankfully been documented earlier. But it's only becoming harder for us to survive in what's rapidly becoming a pro-women world. Just yesterday I was at the McDonald's with my boy. And this lady ahead of me who was with her daughter took offence because the staff told her that they have only one toy for girls. And she blew her top as if it was a crime! I agree that denying a kid a toy on the basis of gender is very wrong, but the quizzical expression on her little girl's face only showed me the future my boy is going to grow up in. I can see her growing up scoffing at men and demanding her rights even at food counters! 

And for all the trauma inflicted on men through the disruption in women's life, I think women create more problems for women. They judge like men never do! Why don't you work? Why do you sit at home? When will you have kids? Why isn't you're house clean? From cleanliness of the house to the kind of mother/wife you are, women judge everything! Men never do that! We try our best to keep you happy. And we are also trying hard to change ourselves and match up to the surge of women power that's turning our world upside down! 

I have poured my heart out about the few things that came to my mind. Patience, ladies! We are with you! Make us partners instead of opponents! We can conquer the world together!