Shopping or retail therapy is therapy if you enjoy the exercise. Otherwise it just feels like an exercise.
I have had my own history with malls. When I had not yet started my business and was just a freelance corporate trainer - working on days I had gigs and free on others - there was nothing to do but window shop or actually shop. That was one of the pastimes that I indulged in. Walked around malls and bought stuff that my limited understanding of apparel thought was good. (Turns out it mostly wasn't when subjected to the scrutiny of expert eyes aka my sister) I had no friends to hang out with - still don't - or local family to visit - still don't. A full time job would have given me the employment to keep me busy while my husband was away traveling. But our erratic schedule - even more than it is now - made it impossible to keep regular work times while living with someone who had no schedule. So loafing around in malls was one of the things I did (Don't remember what else I did to fill the hours when I was alone)
Things changed a lot - I'd say for the better when I started my business in 2014. I found a direction in life and my time was spent in gainful employment. I could have chosen to continue living like I did since I did not need to work. But even though I may not perceive myself as a driven, meticulous person who needs something to keep herself occupied, turns out that's who I am. And the next decade went poof in being the diligent entrepreneur who had no time to mindlessly scour the stores in malls. I bought clothes when needed and that's about it. All the shopping that I need before was just because. I never really needed all that because I had nowhere to go really. I also did not have an understanding of my own style. I still have some of those clothes with me and maybe they were in fashion then, but they aren't now. Plus, they don't fit me anymore. There are just lying around waiting for me to reduce to the size I was a decade ago.
I don't remember if I enjoyed the shopping before. The endless trying of clothes, not knowing whether they really look good on me but buying based on what I feel. Maybe I did enjoy it because I did it so often. But as I became busy with work, I had less and less patience with shopping. I had no time or inclination to loaf around malls. I had more important things to do. And as far as my memory goes, I hate the endless changing of clothes that is required to see what fits. Be it garments or undergarments. It's an exhausting exercise. It gets worse when it's done alone. When there's no one else to help you along make decisions faster. And I have almost always been alone shopping. In fact, I totally gave up shopping mainly because I hated doing it alone. I bought clothes and shoes as and when needed and that was good enough. No need to torture myself more than required.
With the pandemic came online shopping. I don't think I did a lot of online shopping before. But Amazon became - and still is - my one stop shop to buy almost anything. From laundry bags to underwear - it has every thing. I was wary of buying stuff that needed a size but with trial and error, one can easily figure that out. it's just experience. And with easy return and exchange policies, Amazon is the ultimate heaven for shopping. I haven't tried buying clothes online as a habit because you never know what'll turn out but I might soon try that as well.
I went to the mall today and as usual it is so hard to figure out what'll look good on me by just looking at rows and rows of clothes on hangers. Most of them look the same. Or I don't like the kind of fashion they are. When I see people wearing something I like, I wonder where they got it from. You'll never pick something unique off a rack unless you have the knack for it. And years of shopping experience has taught me that I don't have that - like at all! So when I go around to buy stuff - esp ethnic clothes - I find myself lost in a sea of colours, shapes and lines and I have no idea what to even pick up to try. One can try for free but what a chore that is to put on and remove garments one after the other and hope to make the right decision about each based on the few seconds one gets to wear them in the trial rooms.
With my new found love for dresses, I did try quite a few and picked a couple finally based on the look and fit. Given how little we step out now and I am so bored even looking at all my same clothes, another criteria is the longevity of clothes. I look at something that think - how will I feel about owning this 2 years down the line. Probably what I am buying today will stay in my wardrobe for a long time because I won't be wearing it a lot (another reason why frequent shopping is no longer needed) because I don't go to office very day or have a lot of formal events to attend. Not to sound like Marie Kondo - but will it spark joy in times to come when I look at it or stare back at with buyer's regret. I'd like to believe that I am more careful now with what I buy compared to my carefree days when I just bought anything cz I was out there killing time. I need to be sure. That's what's growing up, I guess.
What's your approach to shopping?
(1006)
