I was watching The Morning Show starring Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon along with Steve Carell and others. I heard about this show during Emmy awards and always wanted to check it out. Things get heavy right from the start when the co-host of The Morning Show - the show on the show - is fired for being a sexual predator. Battle lines are drawn around Me too and it's got the works.
One of the co-anchors is Jennifer Aniston - Alex Levy on the show - and there's a whole lot of politics around her personal life too. As a career- woman who is up at 3.30 to make it to the show on time after hair and make-up, she has had to make personal sacrifices. What stood out for me - and made me write this post - is the way she is blamed for her divorce, for putting her career first and how is America going to take it. Worse, her daughter also blames her for the state of her marriage. Her PR manager tell her that it is not a good time to get divorced since it could be related to the firing of her co-anchor. She won't be looked at favourably for getting divorced.
I just love the scene where Alex goes to make up with her daughter and loses it. There is so much of truth is what she says. A woman has to work really hard to get to where she is. She deserves the success and the happiness that comes with it. But as a mother, she has also given her all to her daughter. She has played both roles as well as she could and yet blamed for it all. She tell her daughter that she might be progressive but she is still judging her mom for having a career. When she goes out to build one for herself, she'll realise how hard things are.
This got me thinking. Another such scenario that comes to mind is The Devil Wears Prada. Miranda is super successful while her marital affairs are not that ship shape. And she finds herself in tears in the middle of a fashion convention because the press will blame her for the divorce - and her daughters don't deserve it. That's the price she has to pay for being a successful career woman, to be passionate about her job and pursue excellence in what she does.
The Devil Wears Prada was made in 2006. The Morning Show, in 2019. But I don't think things changed much for women. They are still the victims of societal prejudice for being successful, for daring to have a life other than running households. It's okay of she's busy from dawn to dusk doing stuff for everyone in the family but god forbid she dares to have a life outside!
What's worse is when the same aforementioned family judges her for working doubly hard to raise children and make something of her life. I really felt for Alex when her teenage daughter put the whole blame on the mother. It is easy to judge as a bystander not realising the pressure on goes through in the male dominated media industry. And that's why I thought Alex's response was very fitting. There is a limit to mollycoddling because they are getting a divorce. Also, it's hard for a teenage to understand what goes on in a marriage. And 2 people are responsible for the success and failure of it. Blaming just the more popular and successful spouse, especially if she is a woman, is so wrong.
I think it's not just about famous women. It's also about all women. Everyone is expected to put family first, as a woman. When the husband travels, that's his job. He needs to do it to run the house. That's his identity. No judgement. My husband travelled like crazy for 15 years of our marriage. That was okay with everyone. No questions asked. But if I stepped out for a meeting and something was needed at home, I wasn't putting my duties first. I am so glad that my husband was never one of the people who judged and that's why it works for us. We are equal in this relationship and both have our own jobs and interests. But I have seen first hand the way women with careers/other priorities are treated. And I am sad to say that the same attitude continues into the current century.
It doesn't help that the biological burden of having a baby falls on women. It's a burden because she needs to put her career on hold - there's no way that the maternity break doesn't affect her chances at work. And this privilege of motherhood has turned into a burden because women are penalised for it. They can't go on with their lives after the baby is born. And there is double guilt for wanting and having a career- working really hard to make things work and still be discredited as a woman and a mother.
Research shows that it'll take another 140 years for women to have same place of power and leadership at work as men. That's a long time - a few generations down the line. that too if more pandemics and Trump-as-president does not derail this progress. It's going to take even longer in that case (The world is already set back by 4 more years with Trump coming to power and God knows how many more years to undo the damage that he'll leave behind)
Let's just hope that the progress - even if it is slow- continues in towards equality. It's more about fighting the prejudices and expectations that people have towards and from women. We need to change our mindset one person at a time. Women have proven themselves to be equal partners in and outside home. We just need the world to acknowledge that and give us what's due to us. Even if it's not in our lifetime, hopefully in our grandchildren's lifetime!
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